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Boardshorts


  Amateur Teen Boys
The Gay Surf Report: Amateur Teen Boy
There's nothing like checking out pics of what other teens are doing. Some are funny, some are serious, and they're all pretty sexy... exactly how we like 'em. Thanks for the amateur and pro photographers for capturing all this raw beauty. [click for Amateur Teen XVIII]




 Gay Surf Vids
gay surf vid
Yes there's such a thing as gay surf vids and yes, there's such a thing as gay surfers. Click here to watch two video shorts with surf footage and gay storylines. Makes you wanna paddle out and learn to surf don't it?
[click for Surf Vids]



 Amateur Talent
amateur teen talent
Talent can come in many different forms. In this feature we'll focus on natural raw amateur talent. First up we have Ryan singing his heart out on a Journey song. He starts off a bit shakey but eventually nails it and knows it. You think you've got it going on? Check these three and what they're up to, even jaded folks like us are super impressed.[click for Amateur Talent]



 Generation WE
teen power
Think the youth of today isn't interested in world events? Think they're apathetic about politics, the economy, and social issues? Think again. There's a new movement by affluent teen philanthropists changing the world around them, one step at a time. [click for Generation WE]




 True Sportsmanship
Monte Vista
High school sports is all about competition but sometimes you don't win. What do you do after a big loss? Mope, hate, blame game? Not the Monte Vista high school basketball team. After their playoff loss, they got money together to help their rivals go the state championship. [click for Sportsmanship]




 Suicidal Tendencies
Teen Suicide
Read Rowdy's manifesto on why he felt the urge to off himself. Why does this world constantly create throw-away teens bordering on suicide? What pushes them to the edge most; parents or peers? [click for Teen Suicide]





 Alone
Cody
Cody not only loses his dog but realizes his world has changed now that he's come out. Read about his revelations and how he's going to fight to keep everyone to continue loving him. This lil' guy is definitely an inspiration and his message should be heeded by all. [click for Cody]




 Teen Violence and Nudity
Teen Violence and Nudity Does Myspace and YouTube incite violence and nudity among teens? That seems to be the conscientious parents are making when a recent news story about a fight video clip became famous on YouTube. But really who's to blame? Parents? Society? Anybody? Maybe it's just the evolution of teenagers and their never ending lust for online popularity. [click for Violent Nudes]



On The DL
The Gay Surf Report: On The DL They identify as straight and have girlfriends. Teen boys are keeping themselves pure for their straight relationship but that doesn't mean they're not having sex... it just might not be with their girlfriend. [click for On The DL]





 Boys Don't Cry
Boys Don't Cry
But they do fall in love. Contrary to what most people think, young gay teen boys are falling in love and staying in stable relationships more then ever. Could it be the result of a more accepting world or the fact they refuse to fall into the gay stereotype of the sex addicted gay male? [click for Love]



 Love Crime
Gay Teen Love 2008 marked the 10th anniversary of Matthew Shepard's murder but gay teens continue to struggle for equality in their own schools. If you think it's all fun and games growing up gay, think again. Why gay teens don't feel safe under the supposedly watchful eye of our school administrators and educators.
[click for Gay Students]




Should You Use Steroids?
The Gay Surf Report: Teen Steroid Use Seems like more young gay teens are considering "roiding out their body" to gain a competitive edge. Before falling into this trap read this article about what you could be exposing yourself to if you should decide to use steroids or hGH. Does anybody think a 'roided-out meathead is sexy anyway? [click for Steroids]




Home of the Whopper
The Gay Surf Report: Penis Size It's on every guys mind: Am I big enough? Relax, you'll be surprised to find out you're probably average just like the majority of guys. Still concerned? Read the article and figure out where you stand and whether you really need to fret about how much bigger your friend looks when you watch him in the showers.

[click for Whopper]



Toe Tap Dancing
The Gay Surf Report: Gay Cruising Chat rooms might be played out but that's not going to stop young gay boys from meeting and getting off. Cruising for sex is a secret language becoming more and more popular in public places then ever before. From retail stores, public restrooms, to college and high school locker rooms. Some tips on staying safe and keeping it all on the DL.
[click for Gay Cruising]



 The High Life
Teens Getting High Trent first got high when he was 13. He crushed and snorted his friends Ritalin with his friend Jack. Parents think the only place drug abuse happens is on the street, when in fact it's happening right in your bathrooms own medicine cabinet. [click for High]





Best Teen Athletes
The Gay Surf Report: Teen Athletes Fans and athletes can all agree that a teen athlete at the top of his game is the most awesome sight to watch. In this Photoshow we've captured some of the nations hottest, most finely chiseled athletes
from the west coast. [click for Teen Athletes]




"I'm Not Gay"
The Gay Surf Report: I'm Not Gay They don't identify with the gay community, they don't go out to gay bars, and they're dropping the 'gay' label and all the effeminate and political baggage that comes along with it. Meet the new young face of homosexual America. Is this the beginning of the end of the gay stereotype? [click for Not Gay]



The Outsider
The Gay Surf Report: People Feeling alone, abandoned and different, this teen decides to reinvent himself and find new friends that approve of his new lifestyle. What's surprising is he's made as many new straight friends as gay ones and actually kept a lot of his old friends too. [click for Outsider]




Peeping Thomas
The Gay Surf Report: Peeping Thomas My name is Thomas and I like to watch, actually I like to film. I live on the beach and see all kinds of crazy shiz, especially at night, and I film it all. From surfers changing to couples, well, coupling. It's hot and I got it all on my digicam. [click for Peeping Thomas]




Ying Yang Twins
The Gay Surf Report: Viewer Blogs Read how two guys find each other in the most unlikely place and the strangest of circumstances. Read how they first meet, deal with their desires, and eventually pursue their hidden love. It's soCal love at its finest. [click for JD]




Is Suicide Brave?
The Gay Surf Report: Viewer Blogs Read the harrowing story about a young boys struggle with suicide as he learns to come to grips with his sexual identity. Read how he learns to accept his desire for other boys and how his best friend went from hater to biggest supporter. [click for Suicide]



Generation ME
The Gay Surf Report: Generation Me Young gay teens today are confident, assertive, entitled, and more sexual at an early age then ever before. GenMe has created a shift in the way people perceive young gays, changing what it means to be a strong, independent-thinking, gay teen in today's gay and straight world. [click for GenMe]



 When One Of You Cheats
The Gay Surf Report: Gay Teen Boy
Gay teens are coming out younger and falling into relationships earlier just like their straight friends. So what happens when the bomb falls and your boyfriend tells you he's been with some other gay gay? Here's some advice on how to deal.
[click for Cheat]



 T'weens Coming Out Gay
The Gay Surf Report: Gay Teen Boy
Read the USAToday article about super young teens coming out to their family and peers as gay. Is the nation becoming more tolerable or are we just tired of staying in the shadows? And what's in store for these trailblazers as they grow older?
[click for Gay T'weens]



How Often Is Too Often?
The Gay Surf Report: Gay Teen Boy
In our informal survey we asked our readers about their masturbation habits; frequency, fantasies, partners, etc., In the article we post replies from around the world on any and all topics pertaining to... well you know. [click for getting liquid]



Become A Real Guitar Hero
The Gay Surf Report: Guitar Hero Yeah you think you're good at Guitar Hero but why not take those button-pressing skills and learn to really play the guitar? This new software uses your Guitar Hero skills and teaches you to actually learn chords. Try it and really impress your friends.
[click for Guitar Hero]



Teen Depression
The Gay Surf Report: Gay Teen Suicide Prevention Preventing teen suicide is a group effort. Often those having difficulties coping are trying to send you message, usually in very subtle ways. You can identify and help avoid something tragic from happening if you know what to look for. Wouldn't you want someone to help you if you were in their situation? [click for Teen Depression]



"I'm Not Gay"
The Gay Surf Report: I'm Not Gay They don't identify with the gay community, they don't go out to gay bars, and they're dropping the 'gay' label and all the effeminate and political baggage that comes along with it. Meet the new young face of homosexual America. Is this the beginning of the end of the gay stereotype? [click for Not Gay]



One-Two Punch
The Gay Surf Report: Alcoholic Energy Drink Seems like energy drink manufacturers have found a new market for their alcoholic energy drinks: Teens. What started as a craze for the college aged crowd has now become a trend with the high school teen set. Wasn't it obvious that energy drink addicted teens would likely gravitate to the alcoholic version?
[click for Energy]



Coming Of Age As A December Boy
The Gay Surf Report: December Boys Daniel Radcliffe breaks from his Harry Potter role in the Australian indie film; December Boys. Filmed in the Australian outback, it's about four orphan boys who have grown to be the closest of friends but then find themselves competing for the attention of the same family in hopes of one last chance of getting adopted. [click for December Boys]


Brave New World
The Gay Surf Report: Global Warming Meet Eddie, super hot 18 y/o BMX biker with something to say about global warming to all drivers out on the road in his suburban neighborhood. Read how this one-man-crusade is forcing drivers to listen to his message on how pollution is harming his generations future, and how he does it all while riding his bike. [click for Brave]






Generation ME
The Gay Surf Report: Generation Me Young gay teens today are confident, assertive, entitled, and more sexual at an early age then ever before. GenMe has created a shift in the way people perceive young gays, changing what it means to be a strong, independent-thinking, gay teen in today's gay and straight world. [click for GenMe]



 The Choking Game
The Gay Surf Report: Gay Teen Boy
Teens call it the blackout game, the passout game , flatlining or space monkey. They choke themselves , depriving their bodies of oxygen to the point of passing out...its all for the high they get...but its leaving some kids dead. Find out why this game is so popular. [click for Choking]



 When One Of You Cheats
The Gay Surf Report: Gay Teen Boy Gay teens are coming out younger and falling into relationships earlier just like their straight friends. So what happens when the bomb falls and your boyfriend tells you he's been with some other gay guy? Here's some advice on how to deal.
[click for Cheat]



 T'weens Coming Out Gay
The Gay Surf Report: Gay Teen Boy Read the USAToday article about super young teens coming out to their family and peers as gay. Is the nation becoming more tolerable or are we just tired of staying in the shadows? And what's in store for these trailblazers as they grow older?

[click for Gay T'weens]



Become A Real Guitar Hero

Addicted to music video games? Maybe it's time to put down the toys and pick up the real thing.

Between Activision's powerhouse Guitar Hero franchise and MTV's upstart Rock Band, millions of couch potatoes have been turned on to the power of rock n' roll gaming. Unfortunately, the button-mashing skills that serve them so well at home don't translate to success with a real instrument at a club.

But as more and more gamers are playing to the beat, the demand for software that will actually teach them how to play for real is on the rise -- literally.

On display in a packed booth at the recent Game Developer's Conference, Guitar Rising takes the basic concept of Guitar Hero -- players strum along to popular songs for points -- and turns it into a legitimate teaching tool by exchanging plastic game peripherals for bona fide wood and steel guitars.

Watch Guitar Hero III Videos

Best of all, there's no need to make room for yet another piece of bulky hardware: Using a small USB converter similar to the kind employed by everyday living room musicians, Guitar Rising can be played with any electric guitar. Simply plug a standard electric guitar cable into one end and plug the USB out into any USB port on your PC to be up and rocking.

Obviously, using a real instrument introduces some new problems. Real guitars have six strings and over 20 frets, making things much more complicated than just pressing 'Red' and flicking a strum bar. Since it's primarily a teaching tool, Guitar Rising uses a color-coded version of classic guitar tablature that should look instantly familiar to both guitarists and gamers alike. If you're playing through a song correctly, you're effectively sight-reading.

Exactly which songs will you be able to play? That's still up in the air, but according to Guitar Rising developer Gametank, licensing hasn't been particularly problematic. (Considering how well artists included in Rock Band and Guitar Hero have fared, that's hardly surprising.) And since the game converts your guitar signal into USB form, there's reason to believe it might actually make its way to USB-equipped home consoles like the Xbox 360 and PS3, although currently it's due only on the PC later this year.


Teen Depression

Pay Attention, You May Save A Life. Personal attention is one of the best holiday gifts. "We are supposed to be happy and there is so much going on. People need to reach out to other people, to loved ones and to friends if they are sad and depressed," Shirley Kaminsky of the American Suicide Prevention Foundation said.

Holiday hype can exacerbate feelings of "disconnect" from lovers, friends, family and coworkers. That isolation is one sign of something more serious. "Over 90 percent of people who die by suicide have diagnosable cases of depression," she said. "Often they mask their depression."

Counselors suggest that suicide is a permanent "solution" to what is usually a temporary problem. "This is preventable," Kaminsky said. "Learn to recognize the signs; then get treatment and support."

AFSP held the "Minding Hearts and Souls" November conference in Pleasanton and at more than 100 other locations around the country. California State Assemblywoman Mary Hayashi, a suicide survivor, was keynote speaker. The program included a national Webcast and dialogue with physicians and psychologists focused on support, prevention and research.

The conference is important in helping people cope, Hayashi said. "Even for someone like me whose loss occurred many years ago, there is still so much to learn and understand about this complex issue. By sharing our experiences and knowledge, survivors have the opportunity to get the support they need, as well as focus on how they can contribute to current suicide prevention efforts," she said.

Survivors

The term "suicide survivor" refers to those who cared for the suicide victim, and who are left with the loss of a loved one, as well as an array of unanswered questions.

"Every 16 minutes someone in the U.S. dies by suicide. Every 17 minutes someone is left to make sense of it," according to AFSP documents.

Kaminsky has been a part of AFSP since the death of her 18 year-old son, David, in 1987. "I am a facilitator for support groups in the Tri Valley. Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries are hard for the survivor of a suicide. You never know when the grief is going to hit you again," Kaminski said. "We work to help others recognize the signs of, and prevent suicide, while helping those close to someone who has died by their own hand."

Watch for these signs of depression:

  • Listen - if you hear "I can't go on," or "Perhaps I will just end it all," get help.
  • Using alcohol or drugs to excess
  • Reckless or enraged behavior
  • Becoming withdrawn, silent, loss of energy, diminished ability to concentrate
  • Getting affairs in order and giving away valued possessions
  • Experiencing a major loss or life change
  • A sudden weight loss or weight gain, change in sleep patterns

Take It Seriously

Behavioral signs might be off- putting to friends and family, but if one cares about a depressed person, get help and do not leave them alone. "We need to be very open about talking to people," Kaminsky said.

When asked directly, she replied that means actually discussing their behavior and its implications with a loved one who might be in a depressed state of mind in a non-judgmental way and providing information.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website, AFSPD.org, has expert information, resources and survivor links.

Teens are especially vulnerable. "Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death, and the third leading cause of death among people ages 15 to 24," according to Network for Good, another national suicide prevention organization.

Young people may not have developed life coping skills. They are vulnerable to the influence of peers and exposure to Internet sites that focus on morbid subjects. Physical and emotional changes make feelings of hopelessness and isolation more intense.

If there is a crisis situation at hand, AFSD advises removing dangerous drugs and objects, staying with the individual and taking them to an emergency room. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK.


I'm Not Gay

“I am not gay.” A simple statement taking back the effeminate and political power of the word, “gay.”

Despite my preference for guys, I really have very little in common with gay culture. A pseudo culture encouraged and controlled by radical leftist groups of counter-cultural rebels who have now evolved into a corporate machine, making a living on special interest legislation bent in one direction, not open to dissent or self-reflection whatsoever. Think I'm kidding? Log onto any gay chat room and disagree with the whole gay marriage amendment and then see what sort of vile responses you get from the gay 'community'.

This party that consists of a multitude of personalities and behaviors seems so desperate for normalcy and worldwide acceptance that it ignores the problems plaguing its own constituents: a disparate hodgepodge of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender, and tons of other confusing neo-liberal labels, a party so hungry for acceptance and inclusion that it consistently seeks approval and acknowledgement from a society that would rather see it disappear.

Being attracted to the same sex yet not identifying with any 'community' is a concept that permeates within the younger gay population, a population that hasn't really had to live through the struggles of acceptance or disease but instead accepts it as every day life and something that they just have to deal with. It's a lot less a lifestyle of 'gay' in the sense that not everything is fun and giddy. The Me Generation considers being attracted to the same sex as just that, an attraction to the same sex, nothing more, nothing less.

In today's world, the word gay describes a whole cultural and political movement that promotes anti-male feminism, victim mentality, and left leaning politics. Gays believe that their sexuality engenders ethnicity and complete social identity. Generation Me, on the other hand, rejects the gay identity and its effeminate stereotype, and reclaims male masculinity through the belief that one can stay true to their roots and sustain an authentic masculine identity.

This form of masculinity is not the hyper-masculine leather daddy or bear/cub uber-queer choose-your-own-form-of-masculine definition, which is really just another way to be effeminate and another form of drag, but a real masculinity based on physical, essential, and cultural elements as defined by the majority of the male population, or at least that perception of masculinity.

So why would guys that don't necessarily identify themselves as gay find the need to distance themselves from mainstream gays? To reclaim a masculine identity to counteract the negative and effeminizing forces of modern gay culture because it promotes a more personal, individualistic attitude of the masculine ideal of self-reliance, independence, and personal responsibility through achievement, respect, and integrity. The feeling is guys should concentrate on building alliances with other guys, including straight men and possibly even straight fatherless families that need a father-figure to look up to, instead of just look at other males as sex objects. Why? Because it's more fulfilling in the long run.

The consensus is guys should develop strong relationships with heterosexual guys, not just others with the same preference because the forces emasculating gay guys are doing the same to straight guys. Think about the political-correctness of metrosexuality and other gender blending in today’s culture. Only through building an alliance with other masculine guys will the tide turn in the favor of reclaiming and establishing a masculine identity, for all guys.

To speak out as a homosexual against organizations such as the HRC or GLAAD may be equivocated by some as biting the hand that feeds you but the reality is these organizations do little to counteract the negative characteristics and qualities of the loosely knit and contrived communities they supposedly represent, and therefore the disconnect with younger homosexuals. GLAAD glorifies effeminate affectations and representations of gay guys as positive developments in the mainstream media but in fact, they aren’t. Effeminate gays on television or movies are gay stereotypes. They do nothing but further weaken gay guys in the eyes of heterosexual males. HRC gushes about its achievements in corporations and political campaigns. Each organization brags of inclusion, diversity, and equality. But should anyone speak out against either HRC or GLAAD out of a sense of individual thinking is considered homo-homophobic.

Think how republican homosexuals are treated as villains. Any gay that doesn’t believe in the feminist perspective is ridiculed and ostracized. Masculine guys are labeled as homophobic The current gay “culture” glorifies the world of alcohol, drugs, materialism, body disorders, and classism, and encourages young gays into it . Ask yourself if this community is really something you can feel proud of.

If you really look at it, the gay community is a disaggregated and forced collection of people who don’t really like each other that much or have that much in common. And really, should they? Would a lesbian really like being at a circuit party ? Would a military soldier feel comfortable on a Pride float? Proud of what? The GLBT and all of its anti-war Democrats? Let's be honest, most online profiles for gay guys list racial preferences, HIV-status, age, money and political affiliations. Gay bars are segregated along the same lines. Do gays really have that much in common, or are we just deluding ourselves?

Maybe there should really be a more libertarian approach to sexuality, the same approach that resulted in the decriminalization of sodomy laws in the Western world. Greek culture, Roman warriors, and other non-gay forms of male relationships were able to celebrate male sexuality without having the need to be part of any community. With the current anti-masculine gay sexuality, the community as everyone knows it, is crashing down because it isn't based on anything substantial. Aren't we done celebrating Stonewall? Maybe it's time to move on.

Guys who don't feel part of gay culture should also remove themselves from the culture of victimization and being the underdog. By remaining someone identified by their shortfalls, one will never truly be free of them. Face it, the majority of GLBT people these days haven’t faced much harassment yet gay culture continues to promote a victim mentality even in those who have never been a victim.

Guys who admire or love other guys should be more responsible, not give into the effeminate gay cultural fad; avoid the personal, career, and social pitfalls common to those who live in a completely gay ghetto world; and build stronger ties with heterosexual men who share common interests. Until then we will always be seen as the weak underdog. And we younger homosexuals find that unacceptable.


Your Complete Energy Drink

Energy drinks such as Sparks, Tilt and Rockstar 21 are packaged and marketed to look just like the energy beverages they are, with one major difference; along with the taurine and caffeine they contain alcohol and teens are hooked on these like tweens at a Starbucks.

The alcoholic energy drinks became and instant hit with the under-rested, college party crowd since they first appeared on the market. Since they can easily be disguised, and bought, as regular energy drinks, it was the 'to-go' adreneline rush that most college kids crave.

Fast forward to the high school teen market and you have the an even larger population of thirsty trendiods just waiting to catch a buzz and rush all at the same time without anyone being the wiser.

Parents might even be in the dark and don't even realize alcoholic energy drinks exist. And parents are saying that teens, not adults, are the targets of marketing efforts for these products, whose alcohol content ranges from 6 percent to 10 percent.

It's obvious to anyone that the energy drink market is huge among the myspace crowd and it's a natural leap from energy drink marketing to alcoholic energy drinks, although no watchdog group has any scathing internal memos from energy drink suppliers to prove it. There's money to be made and it's there for the taking. For example, tech-savvy teens can download ringtones, screensavers and text-messaging icons from the Anheuser-Busch Web site which essentially spreads the word about their alcoholic energy drink Tilt.

Even the packaging comes in a slender, silver can that looks a lot like those used by its nonalcoholic cousins. The way these things are packaged, you can pick something up that has alcohol in it and not even know it and often times neither do the grocery store clerks and a sale is made.

When asked about the packaging of their alcoholic energy drinks, an Anheuser-Busch rep, which makes Tilt, and a Miller Brewing Co. rep, the maker of Sparks, issued statements condemning underage drinking and saying that the contents of their drinks are clearly labeled. Ah, ok. Rockstar and United Brands, which make Rockstar 21 and Joose, did not respond to repeated requests for information about their products.

The major problem with anyone who drinks too much alcohol is they pass out and hopefully don't get into a car, the concern with alcoholic energy drinks is when someone's been drinking but stays up because of the caffeine and thinks they're ok to drive. Caffeine will mask the impact of the alcohol so you feel less intoxicated, there is concern for young drinkers because they are not experienced with alcohol and the likelihood they will engage in risky behavior is increased.

More than two dozen state attorneys general, including California's, sent a letter in August to the federal Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau to protest how beverage companies sell the drinks. The letter contended that manufacturers capitalize on the popularity of energy drinks among young people to market alcoholic versions.

According to myspace survey, nearly one in three people who are 12 to 17 years old report regular consumption of energy drinks and a majority admitted that most teachers and parents are unaware that alcoholic energy drinks exist.

Besides the promise of delivering a jolt, alcoholic energy drinks appeal to teens because of their cost, youth advocates say. They are as cheap as two for $3; nonalcoholic versions cost more than $2 each. The ones without alcohol are more expensive. so why not buy one with alcohol? Hmmm, wonder what the manufactures would say to that question.


Coming Of Age As A December Boy

It's hard for us to imagine a pale-skinned, english boy wizard Harry Potter fitting in among the weathered huts, sun drenched sand dunes and coral blue seas of a coastal Australian town in the 1960s. But in December Boys Daniel Radcliffe seems to manage it.

And being British, he even pulls off a near perfect Aussie accent.

For Daniel's first film after the Harry Potter series, instead of going for one of the many potential Hollywood blockbuster scripts that have been landing on his agents desk, Daniel has decided to launch his post-wizard career with a small-budget indie Australian movie filmed mostly on location at South Australia's Kangaroo Island.

Daniel says it was important for him to distance himself from Harry Potter in his first venture away from the film series, which also included his controversial stage acting in the London play Equis.

"I was sent a lot of scripts but none of them really appealed to me until December Boys came along," said Radcliffe.

"When I read the script I loved it. It was a very simple story, but I thought it was very beautiful and had the potential to really allow me to push my acting abilities in a completely different direction than the previous Potter series.

"My character Maps is very, very different to Harry so I knew that would be a challenge for me. I've been playing Harry Potter for five years so it was quite challenging and rewarding to do something a bit different."

In December Boys, based on Michael Noonan's novel of the same name, the 18-year-old British actor plays one of a close-knit band of four orphaned boys on their first holiday away from a children's home run by nuns in the Australian outback.

His friends - Misty, played by Lee Cormie, Spit played by James Fraser and Spark, played by Christian Byers - realize they are getting too old to be adopted, and are beginning to get desperate in their search for a adoptive family. With their future looking more and more bleak, they decide to embrace as much happiness as they can while they're still young and innocent.

Since Maps realizes he's even older and larger than the others, he's pretty much given up all hope of being adopted.

Taken in temporarily by retired naval officer Bandy McAnsh, played by Jack Thompson, and his dying wife "Skipper", played by Kris McQuade, the friends meet a young couple who are unable to have children and interested in adopting: and so the rivalry between the boys begins.

But while they think they are searching for parents, the December Boys (so-called because they share the same birth month) they come to realize they are each other's family and the real bonding begins.

Maps even has a love interest, newcomer Teresa Palmer playing Lucy, the coquettish, sexually precocious, long-legged teen blonde.

With some themes closely resembling the 1986 classic Stand By Me, December Boys stands up well as a feel-good family story.

"I wanted to make it more like a coming of age story, rather than a children's story," said Australian director Rod Hardy, known for his work on popular television shows Buffalo Girls, The X-Files and The Practice.

"But I couldn't be so egotistical to think that I'd made something phenomenal like Stand By Me.

"See, Stand By Me, that's a classic to me, that's a classic film. And classics only come by time: you don't make a classic, it becomes a classic.

"I do hope this film is around in ten years time and people were still talking about it.

"But you never know where it's going to go. We made the film, with talent and passion, and the rest is up to the audience to respond."

Where the film seems to falter a bit is that it is cluttered with subsidiary characters who are never fully developed. Even within the group of four boys, Spit and Spark appear to be almost ancillary to the main storylines of Maps and Misty.

Only snippets of the adult characters' emotions are allowed, even though throughout the film they also deal with weighty issues of death, loss and rejection.

And some of the symbolism - the enormous 'uncatchable' fish called Henry, the religious apparitions of Mary and the black stallion seen constantly hunting for fish - is a bit exaggerated.

The impressive performances of all four boys and Palmer, and a touching performance from Thompson, make the film what it is: a simple, beautifully shot story that - with the help of Daniel Radcliffe - should be well received in Australia and America.

December boys is set to open at select theaters on September 20.


Brave New World

How One Teen Takes Back The Streets In His Town. "Well it started out being this confrontation on the commuter train I take when I need to go long distances on my bike. This older guy thought I was a major inconvenience for him 'cause he had to take one step to get around me and my bike. So instead of just walking around and sitting his ass down on a seat, he had to make a comment under his breath, something 'bout youth and his world and how I was ruining it, blah, blah, blah. I don't ever spaz when it comes to confrontation 'cause I think it's funny when someone goes crazy on you and causes a scene. I just let him spew his vent and when he sat down and stared at me I just said for him to have a nice day. That usually shuts 'em down, something about killing them with kindness usually makes them shut the hell up."

It was from that initial incident that Eddie started realizing that people did find bicyclist's inconvenient and in 'their' way, even though the whole spirit of commuting is supposed to encourage mass-transit. "Dude, it's not like I have this huge bike that's blocking the entire train, the guy was a major spaz but you know what? I get that attitude a lot from people, and most just happen to be older, and I had to wonder, hmmmm, these are the same f cks that care less about leaving me a dirty world, that only take mass transit 'cause they have to, but as soon as the train stops they're back in their massive SUVs mowing down whatever gets in their way." Eddie thought it was time he stopped whining from the sidelines and decided to do something about it. To get some message out there so people would stop and think about their actions and how it was damaging his future world and ruining the environment.

When you talk to Eddie you realize he's not really an activist of any kind. He's actually just a fun teenager growing into manhood, that enjoys riding his bike and decided that he would not own a car so that he wouldn't be a contributor to the war-for-oil or global warming. His initial reason wasn't to send a message to all the car-hogs on the road, or to stop people from damaging the environment, it was just Eddie doing what he likes doing best, riding his bike and hanging out with cool people.

The northern California suburb Eddie grew up and lives in is a perfect place for someone that chooses not to own a car. The city itself was designed with miles of bike path that intersects all the neighborhoods and can take Eddie anywhere he wants with limited car contact. The city is also on a commuter rail line that can take him anywhere in the Bay area and has allowed bikes for years now. Eddie is totally mobile. He might not be able to jump in a car and get somewhere in 10 minutes, but he plans his routes well and usually gets there not much later then a car would, without traffic congestion.

What Eddie thinks is strange is the reaction he gets from people that don't ride bikes, "It's like I'm in their way, like they're so much more important and I'm just an obstacle that's slowing their journey". "Well f ck that, I'm using my own energy to get around, I'm not contributing to the political war that's devastating entire civilizations just so fat-ass Americans can drive their over-sized SUVs. I'm also not contributing to the extinction of the human race. I don't pollute, I don't spew tons of toxins into the air just so I can travel to the quickie mart and by another Big Gulp. I'm the solution and these people in cars and these people on transit that think I'm in the way are morons. Their vision is so myopic and I felt it was time to do something about it."

What started out as a one-man crusade has now gained in momentum, and some Friday nights Eddie and his gang of bicyclists can usually take up a good portion of roadway as they spread their message to the traffic that's being inconvenienced because of the slower mass of cyclists. The law is very clear in California, all roads must be 'shared' with non-automobiles, this includes motorcycles, bikes and pedestrians. Try explaining that to the hoardes of cars that honk at the very first incident of someone blocking 'their' roadway.

So Eddie took the law on his side and decided that instead of riding on the side of the road and not making any statement, he'd ride in the fast line of the street and zig-zag, go slow, and make his statement in a peaceful way. The cops couldn't touch him.

The first time Eddie attempted his ride it was only him, it was dusk and cars were getting pretty close to me all the while honking to get out of their way. Eddie just laughed and continued riding. He put together a makeshit cardboard sign on his back that read "Stop Ignoring Global Warming" just so everyone would know he wasn't just some crazy teen on a bike that forgot to take his meds. He was there on purpose and he was making a statement. His message caught on. "On that very first ride I got about a handful of other guys on bikes to ride with me just 'cause they saw what I was doing and how the drivers in cars were getting uptight, I guess they liked seeing a reaction from the drivers just like I did." "At one point even a lady in a motorized wheelchair joined us. She told me that it sucked having to be in a chair in the first place and then to be mowed over almost everyday by cars going too fast through driveways and crosswalks, well she was super pissed about it. She rocked. we all love that Erlene".

So now it's been almost a year since Eddie and his gang of misfits have been taking back their streets on Friday nights. It's gotten a bit of media coverage and there are times when the police will psuedo-escort their rides by hanging back a few paces with their flashers going. There are times when cars will just pull alongside them and yell obscenities but that just makes all the bikers, skateboarders, and yes, Erlene, laugh. It's then they know their message is getting through, that they've made a difference and that they've opened someones eyes to what they're trying to say: Share the Road, get out of your cars, walk, ride, crawl. We don't give a f ck but we care. Do YOU?


Generation ME

Is There Anything Wrong With Generation Me? A new gay.com study says that today’s young gay teens are more sexual at an early age and way more self-centered than ever before. The question I keep asking myself, though, is what is so wrong with that and why are so many people blaming myspace and other social websites for this apparent trend. Perhaps there’s a connection, but personally I think it's a sign of the times and if anyone is to blame it's our parents society, not ours.

A study examining sexual activity among gay students over the last few generations suggests that today’s young gay teens are more focused on sexuality at an early age than previous generations. A survey asked the teens to react to phrases such as “If a hot guy came on to me would I respond”, “I think I deserve to be as sexual as my straight counterparts” and “I can have sex any way I want to and started being sexually active at ___ age.” Researchers then examined the results in the aggregate to make a determination regarding overall sexuality among gay teens.

Today's young gays are also be educated and prepared for what stalks them sexually in the gay community. A lot of younger guys realize what they're getting into when they IM an older gay guy and how to protect themselves sexually. It's not all about truck stops and back rooms for them as it was for prior generations. If they want to find sex, they can find it, by merely logging on and finding someone that fits their sexual needs.

Also, according to the latest data, gay students are more focused on themselves than any other previous group of students, but is this necessarily a bad thing?

Narcissism can have benefits, said study co-author W. Keith Camp of the University of Wisconsin, Madison, suggesting it could be useful in meeting new people “or auditioning on ‘American Idol.’”

“Unfortunately, narcissism can also have very negative consequences for society, including the breakdown of close relationships with peers,” he said. The study says that narcissists “are more likely to have romantic relationships that are short-lived, at risk for infidelity, lack emotional warmth, and to exhibit game-playing, dishonesty, and over-controlling and violent behaviors.” Sound familiar? Nah, we all know we're also in denial, right?

Then there's a professor at San Diego State University, she places most of the blame on what she calls the “self-esteem movement” that began in the 1980s. “We need to stop endlessly repeating ‘You’re special’ and having children repeat that back,” she said. “Kids are self-centered enough already.” Phew, who made her boss?

And there's more: "But things have gotten worse, she says, because of ubiquitous access to social media tools on the Internet. “Current technology fuels the increase in narcissism,” Twenge said. “By its very name, MySpace encourages attention-seeking, as does YouTube.” Now that I will agree with but is that necessarily a bad thing? Shouldn't we be proud of ourselves and our creative individuality?

You see, narcissism isn’t something we learned overnight, let alone in a year or two. It’s built up through years of development. Yet the social media tools she blames have only been around for a few years at most; YouTube hasn’t even reached its second birthday yet. Besides, how did you expect us to develop when our parents were out doing 'their own thing' which usually meant mom shopping and dad golfing with his pals, all the while leaving us by ourselves and throwing a few dollars our way so we wouldn't care?

Professor also emphasizes the fact that some of these tools have brand names that embrace the first-person, such as MySpace and YouTube. Twenge equates these tools with being “all about me.” They are about me, but not in the way she thinks they are. The vast majority of people who use social networking sites aren’t in on it to become famous and have hordes of adoring fans. Sure, some people are there for vanity or proto-celebrity purposes, but most people are there for us, not me. They’re communities where people come together to find each other and bond over likeminded interests. Especially if you live in a small-minded community where you might be misunderstood. These sites give us a voice, they help us find like-minded peers that can help us understand ourselves and reinforce that we're not alone in the world and that we're not freaks no matter who we are and regardless if we fit in with others at our school.

Social websites also reinforce interpersonal relationships through sharing and creating content. MySpace and YouTube are just references to the fact that they’re an experience built around each members interests and creative abilities - and the others who share those interests and abilities. Twenge misunderstands the ethos of social media, not recognizing that users of social media do it because they care about the notion of “us” and want to be a part of something bigger than themselves.

Does any of this mean that there isn’t a connection at all between being self-centered and 24/7 media consumption? Possibly, but that may have more to do with reality TV and the cult of celebrity in this country than it does with whether your teen has a Facebook profile. More research on the impact of media on young people can be done but does it really mean anything?

Anyway, that’s my opinion. Mine! All mine! -Jackson

Here's some responses I got from people I told about this article:

This seems typical, though, and seems to point to a greater problem in our society.

MySpace seems to have taken over MTV (late eighties and nineties) as the poster child for all things wrong with our children. Many (not all, but perhaps most) researchers, parents and school administrators simply need somewhere to place the blame. A somewhat Girardian escape, perhaps, which may have more to do with the adults’ psyche than the so-called problem the kids are facing.

Recently, MySpace, Friendster AND “blogs” or any sites remotely related have all been blocked by our school district’s filter. Instead of blocking and filtering, school districts, researchers and parents need to be learning from, instead of whining about, places like myspace, youtube, flickr, etc.

The greater problem here, however, is that the schooling experiment in our country continues to be abysmally lame, for the most part—If in fact, this experiment is supposed to be about teaching and learning. Unfortunately, the true learning environment of ours continue to be the communities on the fringes and how these communities intermingle to jointly form our kids’ education. This intermingling can be good or bad, whole or fragmented.

These communities include family, friends, after-school groups, clubs, nicktv, cartoonnetwork, gaming, chatting, MySpace, YouTube, etc. Communities, yes, but, particularly, socially networked communities.

I think Mark Twain said it best: “I’ve never let school get in the way of my education.” -By Nick 12:57PM on May 4, 07

Hey, I’m from the generation affected by Myspace and blogs. Guess what? I don’t have one. Either one. Actually, I just got the internet this week. And you want to hear somthing really interesting? I’m just as narcissic and emotionally detached as all the other kids in my grade. In fact, I’m probably even more dispassionate than most of them. If you want to blame something, yell at sesame street or PBS, because that’s what I grew up watching (my family doesn’t have cable or satellite). Not so quick to lay blame now?

-By David 2:15PM on May 8, 07

I agree that all teens want to be the center of the world and to become a functioning adult is to realize that this is not possible. Not only is it not possible, but it is not healthy. To possess everything that time, money and attention can afford is to invite misery. I do not believe that mySpace or even the Internet have created the “me, me, me” attitude that permeates our society. Capitalism has caused this population of credit draining, gotta have it now mentality that is destroying the fabric of our culture. That and reality television.

By Camden 8:47PM on Apr, 27, 07


The Choking Game

I never would believe if someone told me that Thomas would take such a gamble. I was sort of worried for Thomas the last few weeks before that fateful night because his mood and behavior had changed so drastically those past few weeks. We had caught him smoking, buying weed and then he was suspended from school for insubordination. Previously, he never had any problems with school or friends and always got good grades. Lately, I had noticed his behavior changes and had seen his bloodshot eyes. He said his eyes were red because he had been surfing all day and rubbed his eyes a lot. I sensed something was wrong but still it never occurred for a minute he was playing me. We always had such a good relationship, he was always happy, he was a mother's dream come true.

On a Thursday night , we had all gone to the mall shopping together and Thomas had purchased new skinny jeans and some games for his Nintendo DS for an upcoming sleep over with some of his surf friends. He ate dinner with us and sat in the living room eating snacks and playing his DS. Later that night he said he was going up to his room and then left with his dog Rowdy in tow.

Around 10 PM I heard a strange thumping sound and yelled up the stairs for him to knock it off, that it was getting late. He didn't say anything back so I decided to go up and see what he was up. He was laying on his bed perched up on one arm. I found this odd but I don't know why, maybe it's because this wasn't a position he usually relaxes in. My initial instinct was to yell at him again but what could I say. We had already been arguing so much I saw no use to go at it again. I just said 'Go to Sleep Thomas'. He answered with his usual 'Yeah'. I again thought of sitting on the bed and having one of our usual late night talks. We were close, I always sat on his bed and talked with him... Always. But this night I let my uneasiness at his recent outburst lead me to just leave it alone and walk away. I said goodnight and I turned out the light and went back downstairs. I sat back down on the couch with my youngest son, John, and thought about Thomas. About 15 minutes later a very sick feeling came over me and I couldn't figure out why, I felt so sick and panicked. Once again I pushed my instinct away. About 10 minutes later my husband came in and I ask him to carry our youngest son upstairs. I heard a sickening sound come from my husband that I never want to hear again. I made the stairs 3 at at time and found my husband laying our sweet Thomas on the floor. I immediately began working on him trying to revive him. I remember my screams . I begged him not to leave me and how sorry I was that we fought earlier. I knew it was too late. Only minutes too late.

Apparently Thomas had wrapped a belt around his neck and had hung down from a hook he put up on his ceiling. When Kevin lifted his body the belt slipped right off the hook. His beautiful legs were on the floor. All he had to do was stand up. It has been 3 months since our baby Thomas left us. We have been unable to live in our home where Thomas died and have had to move again. We live on only because we know we have to. Only someone who has lived the loss of a child can imagine our grief. The type of grief that gnaws on you ever single moment of every single day.

The motions we go through every day only serves to remind us that our beautiful, wonderful, boy left without ever saying goodbye and that his death was as senseless as any death gets. Thousands attended his wake and funeral and masses were said around the world by people whom Thomas' Life had touched in our travels. He will not be forgotten. You can bet on it.

Karen Davis
Thomas' Mom


Gay Teens Coming Out Younger

Keven M., 14, a high school freshman in St. Paul, recalls attending his first meeting at the school's Gay-Straight Alliance club when he was in the seventh grade. "I said, 'My name is Kevin, and I think I'm gay.' Saying it set me free. It felt like this huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders, and I had gay guys to talk to."

Zach T., 15, has brought boyfriends to dances at his high school in San Ramon, CA.

Vance S. started a club to support gay students at his Texas high school but administrators said no. Vance, 14 got online and emailed a San Francisco advocacy group and they sent school officials a letter about students' legal rights. Now 17, Vance has his club.

Gay teenagers are "coming out gay" younger than ever before, and it makes a lot of them feel good about themselves than previous generations of gays, who were forced to remain in the closet and pretend they were someone else and live with the pain and torment that brings to oneself. The change is happening in the wake of opinion polls that show the nations growing acceptance of gays, more supportive adults and positive gay role models in the media and sports.

"In previous generations, you couldn't come out in high school. You would probably be scorned and beaten relentlessly," says Kevin James, 43, associate director of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Network, a group that promotes a positive school environment for gay children. "Kids are out while they're still at home, some in their t'ween years. They're more vocal and demanding than we were. And good for them."

But for many they still go through a tough time. The worst off are young gay guys in conservative rural areas and children whose parents who aren't accepting because of their religious beliefs. Name calling at school is still common. Cyber-bullying is big. Some young gay kids are getting hate mail and taunts on MySpace or Facebook and that should be considered a hate crime.


As young gays become more out they also become visible targets, but they also have more sources of help. In the 11 years since James founded the network, parents are learning how to become more supportive of gay teens, he says. The network has also trained many school officials on how to reduce gay hate crimes in the school place.

Schools today have more openly gay staff members, then in the past, who can help young gay teens, says Tony Augelli, an associate dean at Carolina State University. In a national survey, one-third of psychologists said they had counseled students or parents about sexual orientation issues.

In the 1990s, a handful of Gay-Straight Alliance clubs were in high schools; now 3,200 are registered with the network, James says.

The Internet also has become one of the main reasons isolation for gay teens has evaporated, offering a place for meeting like-minded and supportive peers.

Cultural diversity is more prevalent

Teens are coming out today when more and more Americans than ever are more accepting of gays in society. In 2006, 54% found homosexuality acceptable, compared with 38% in 1992, and gays are becoming recognized for their specific contributions to society whether that's helping and understanding women and their needs and/or helping straight guys become less hostile and more cultural and desireable to women.

Gay youths swim in a cultural universe that's more pro-gay than ever, says Ritch Williams, a psychologist at Yale University, "kids can see gays in a positive light," he says.

The recent news and controversy that Vice President Cheney's daughter Mary is expecting a baby with her lesbian partner has even brought gay parenthood into the republican administration.

By the time gays want to settle down and raise a family, many gays have known their preferences for a long time. Gay males and lesbians often feel attractions towards the same sex as early as grade school.

Vance grew up surrounded by ranches in rural Texas being made fun of and called "fag" as early as first grade. "I didn't even know what it was, but kids would say it to anyone that they thought was different or odd" he says. "I didn't know why the singled me out 'cause i liked stuff like sports and I was comfortable hanging out with guys and girls. By middle school, "I had a girlfriend, hoping guys would leave me alone." But Vance couldn't make himself feel straight and I didn't fool anybody, anyway.

Zach had been taught by the church that being gay was wrong. "I spent a lot of time denying I had feelings for guys," says Zach. At age 12 he told his parents he was attracted to his best friend Perry. "I told them that I wasn't going to live a lie anymore. That this was really who I was."

His father wasn't excited to hear his son was gay. "You have to admit,any parent who says his first reaction isn't 'No, no!' is probably lying," he says.

"Me and my wife felt sad. We just thought we'd have a daughter-in-law and grandchildren someday just like everyone else. It's a disappointment, but it's a selfish disappointment. We knew we had to get past that.

"Truth is there are some parts of being gay that I'll never understand," he concedes, "but that doesn't mean I can't be supportive and love Zach."

A struggle for the parents

How parents deal with news their son is gay has a huge effect on their entire familys' lives, says Ryan Caitlin , a social researcher at UCSF in San Francisco, who is studying the families of gay guys. Families usually move gradually from rejection to acceptance when the shock wears off, he says. Parents with strong religious beliefs that beiing gay is always wrong find it hardest to accept their gay teens, he says.

In some homes, that means throwing a gay child out. How many gay teens meet that fate nobody really knows, but a disproportionate share of young homeless people in the USA gay. Several cities have shelters for gay kids, but there's not enough help for all the homeless gay kids out there, says Sharon Siciliano of the Ali Forney Center, which houses young gay runaways in Los Angeles.

Tomlinson, who coordinates a drop-in program in suburban Chicago, sees teens from all kinds of families. "Gay kids from the suburbs drive up in new SUVs their parents bought them. But sometimes they're afraid to come out to parents because of what they've heard their parents say at home. Other kids have to beg for bus fare to get here. All would like to tell their parents their gay and be accepted, but not all of them can."

Not all students and faculty like the soaring number of school-based gay/straight alliances and adult-led programs for gay teen kids. "Being gay is harmful to society, and young people have no business committing to a sexual identity until they're adults," says Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council. He supports a new Georgia law that requires schools to tell parents about school clubs and allows the parents to not allow their children to participate in gay/straight alliances, regardless of how discriminatory that may be.

Lobbying to pass similar laws is going on in North Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, Alabama and Texas, says Joe Glover of the Family Policy Network. "Parents shouldn't have to check their rights at the school room door," he says.

Researchers have stated that most gay teens have worse mental health and higher suicide rates than straight teens. But these conclusions are primarily based on small, older studies skewed to troubled youths. A few newer studies suggest teens who are bisexual may have the worst problems. But most research has grouped them with gays.

Young gay guys are more likely than straight teens to think about or try suicide, but there's no solid evidence they're more likely to follow through and kill themselves, says sociologist Stephanie Russ of the Arizona State University. She has analyzed findings from a study of 12,000 teens followed up to a decade so far. Those with same-sex attractions are more depressed and anxious, Russell says, but there's also evidence that many who identify as gay teens eventually grow up to be straight. He says stigma and prejudice still prompt undue stress for gay kids.

Studies on gay boys predominate, so young lesbians are more of a mystery. Unlike boys, most girls also have opposite-sex attractions. And strong emotional bonds are more key in sparking girls' sexual attractions.

Another study focuses on today's gay youths: friendships and romances. They're teenagers first, and teenagers are obsessed with their peer networks, especially their online personas.

Some young gay kids say: "I sometimes worry that I'll never be able to find the kind of gay guy I want." Gay teens worry about this more than straight teens because best friends are usually the same sex. Gays are unique in agonizing over whether to turn friendships into crushes, often thinking they'll lose a friend whether they're straight or gay.

Worry about finding a boyfriend was strongly linked to anxiety and depression. When you subtract this worry, young gay teens were no more anxious or depressed than straight teens. "We have to start looking at their whole lives, not just sexual orientation. By focusing on sex, we may be missing that they're painfully normal teenagers."

Many adults might be surprised that what concerns gay teens the most: We want long-term relationships. We want families, we want children."


Prince Harry Won't Be Shipped To  Iraq

Looks like Prince Harry will not be sent to Iraq due to a number of specific threats from insurgents that may expose the third in line to the kingdom as well as his regiment to a degree of risk.

22-year-old Prince Harry, who has been adament all along of leading his tank unit in Iraq, said he is extremely disappointed but understood the decision would keep his fellow soldiers from harm.

Army Chief of Staff, Gen. Sir Richard Dannatt, said the decision was due to specific threats received from insurgents to the prince and risks to the safety of his fellow soldiers.

As previously reported here on GSR, Harry had been expected to deploy to Iraq in May but Dannatt, who recently returned from Iraq, said the situation there had become too dangerous, and media scrutiny of the plans had exacerbated the situation.

Dannatt says ``There have been a number of specific threats, some reported and some not reported, that relate directly to Prince Harry as an individual,'' ``These threats exposed him and those around him to a degree of risk we considered unacceptable.''

The Prince's office issued a formal statement declaring the prince was disappointed that he will not be able to ship to Iraq with his troop as he had hoped all along.''

``He understands and supports Gen. Dannatt's difficult decision and remains committed to his military career,'' Clarence House said.

Harry has always spoken of his desire to see active service. On his 21st birthday he said he would not have gone through the rigors of officer training at the elite Sandhurst military academy ``then sit on my arse back home while my boys are out fighting for their country.''

The decision came three days after Iraqi insurgents captured three U.S. soldiers and amid claims that many militia groups in Iraq were making plans for the Prince's arrival.

Media reports in both England and Iraq have quoted Iraqi insurgents as "planning to kill or kidnap the prince", and have distributed his photo among militants in the city of Basra. One newspaper report quoted a militant leader saying he planned to take the prince hostage and to send him back to the Queen ``without his ears.''

Britain's Defense Ministry said the decision has always been kept under review amid concerns for the security of second lieutenant Harry, and other soldiers serving with him. Harry is a tank commander trained to lead a 12-man team in four armored reconnaissance vehicles.

Looking ahead, the decision to keep Harry out of Iraq could have a devastating impact on the morale of the British troops in Iraq, said Charles Heyman, the editor of the book, ``Armed Forces of the UK'' and a former british soldier.

``Soldiers may look at this decision and say: 'If it's too bloody dangerous for the Prince, then it's too dangerous for us. Is the prince's life worth more than mine?' From a political point of view, yes. But from a morale point of view the answer is no,''

As Britain prepares to withdraw troops from southern Iraq and hand security to Iraqi forces, more focus is being concentrated on British soldiers being stationed at Basra Palace and Basra air base, rather then actual combat zones.

And that would make it easier for Iraqi militants to find the prince and his regiment and has raised concern that the prince's presence would heighten the risks of his fellow soldiers.

Although commended for his determination and his undoubted talent, his fellow soldiers will miss his leadership in Iraq and this decision could have a negative effect on Harry as well.

``If he didn't go to Iraq or Afghanistan he'd be just about the only person in the British army who hadn't been on operations,'' he said. ``As a combat soldier he would have no credibility whatsoever.''

Original GSR Article:

Looks like Prince Heartthrob will indeed be shipping out to Iraq soon. The spokesperson for the British army said that Harry had decided himself that he wants to serve with a combat unit in Iraq.

Military commanders reportedly had thought against their initial decision to allow the prince to go to Iraq for fear he would become a target of terrorists and the fact his presence could also endanger other soldiers. Harry's regiment, the Blues and Royals, begins a six-month tour of duty in Iraq within a few weeks.

Over the past couple of weeks, british newspapers have reported threats by Iraqi terrorists to kill or kidnap the prince, including claims his photograph had been widely circulated among militants for definite identification. Military chiefs acknowledge that Harry would probably be a prime target and that his presence could lead to more attacks on British forces.

General Sir Richard Dannatt said the decision would still be reviewed, but he hoped this statement would end the media furer on Harry's deployment.

"The decision has been taken by myself that he will deploy with his regiment," Dannatt said. "I would urge that the frenzied media activity surrounding this particular story should cease in the interests of the overall security of all our solidiers serving in Iraq."

Dannatt spoke after media reports cited senior military officials as saying an army review was likely to lead to Harry being banished from battle, although he could still perform desk job duties.

Prince Charles' London office, Clarence House, would not comment on Dannatt's statement.

Harry, the 22-year-old second lieutenant tank commander, is trained to lead a 12-man team in four armored reconnaissance vehicles. If deployed to Iraq, he would become the first royal to serve in a war zone since Prince Andrew, his uncle, flew a helicopter in Britain's war in the Fakland Islands, with Argentina in 1982.

The youngest, and most controversial son, of the late Princess Diana, Harry has a love/hate relationship with Britain's tabloid newspapers, which have provided a constant stream of coverage of his party-going lifestyle at glitzy London nightclubs, as well as his commending education and military life.

Harry has said all along that he is serious about an army career. After graduating from the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst in 2006, Harry insisted on an opportunity to serve in the armed forces. He may have his chance real soon

Freckle-faced Prince Harry, the royal rascal who has led a life of popularity and privilege is also an army officer — and he could soon be heading to Iraq to face the reality of war.

Although nothing has been released by royal officials, there has been no decision about his deployment to Iraq. Ministry of Defense has dismissed such reports as speculative. Newspapers are filling pages about the security headache a war zone assignment for Harry — who is third in line to the throne — could bring for the British army.

"Prince Harry's always wanted to be treated as an ordinary soldier," the Daily Mirror quoted an unnamed army source as saying. "But he's not an ordinary soldier, of course, he's royalty."

When the Prince, 22, left Sandhurst Military Academy in 2006, he became a second lieutenant and joined the Blues and Royals regiment of the Household Cavalry. The defense ministry at that time said he could possibly be deployed to Iraq, but that there might be situations when the presence of a member of the royal family could increase the risk for his comrades as well as himself.

Prince Harry himself was having none of it and refused to be treated any differently then other soldiers.

Prince Harry was quoted as saying: "There's no way I'm going to put myself through the rigors of Sandhurst, and then sit on my backside at home while my boys are out fighting for England,"

"It's understandable that Harry would want to go," said William Wallace, a professor emeritus of international relations at the London School of Economics and a British defense expert. "There's isn't any use being in the army unless you experience combat in a time of war."

Harry went to Eton, and has been described as "one of the gang" by gossip magazine Hello! Harry is considered more impetuous than his elder brother Prince William; he has often been photographed on his way out of posh London nightclubs — and once scuffled with a cameraman.

Harry has always been a sort of rebel, acknowledging drinking underage and smoking marijuana in the past, and in 2006, he issued an apology after being pictured in a national newspaper at a costume party dressed with a swastika armband.

Prince Harry also has a bit of his mom's philanthropic side, he's also been photographed working with AIDS orphans in Africa during a year spent abroad. And while Harry has been pictured with a beer or a cigarette in his hand, stories about his possible deployment to Iraq were accompanied by more dignified shots of the prince in battle gear. Prince Harry can party with the best and also be serious when the need arises.

"Of course it would be a lie to say he will be treated like everyone else — even though he'll want to be like everyone else — but he won't be able to because he is a prince," said Godfrey, a former Army officer who has served in Iraq. Godfrey said that one of the obstacles to the prince serving in combat is him being a target for terrorist.

And now the media publicity surrounding Prince Harry's deployment in April could affect whether he is actually sent to Basra, Iraq. More than 100 British soldiers have been killed in Iraq since the beginning of the war in 2003.

So for now it's a catch 22 with some thinking the military will be very wary about getting it right — getting it right in the public eye," he said. "If he doesn't go, (the public) will say, bad decision, because they're treating him like royalty.

"But if he does go and gets hurt, then it'll be a bad decision," Godfrey said. "The fact that he's a royal celebrity makes it a difficult decision."


How to Mend a  Broken Heart

The most important ingredient in fostering a healthy committed gay relationship is trust and is the glue that keeps two guys together. Trust is the agreement that your partner will respect you and not take advantage of or hurt you in any way. It’s a feeling that should be genuine, authentic, dependable, and sincere. When you have this connection you can be completely uninhibited and open yourself up to being vulnerable and share your most intimate thoughts and feelings.

Trust takes time to develop and is a benchmark of a successful relationship, it can be quickly damaged if not nurtured and cause severe consequences for the future of the relationship if one of the two is involved in an indiscretion. Once the trust has been compromised, it can be difficult to repair, and quite possibly irreversible. Listed here are some tips to restore the lost trust when your boy wanders off in search of someone new.

The Shattered Foundation

All the time you both have spent together and invested in the relationship can come crashing down once trust has been violated by either one of you, and there's really no quick fix solution. Maybe he cheated on you. Perhaps you told him a little lie. Or he might have broken a promise to you. Even though the indescretion might seem miniscule, the dynamics and the sense of security the relationship has shared will likely be shifted and both parties will look at each other suspiciously.

Developing trust with someone that has a history of emotional/verbal/physical abuse, where there's a chance one’s feelings can be minimized or ignored, or when there’s unresolved grief or hurt from the past is a tough hurdle to get over. Your own family background and prior experiences in relationships (if you've had any yet) can also be contribute to difficulties with trust, as well as stress, low self-esteem, and addictions, which include both drugs and sex. Just being gay can make us mistrustful because of the years some us might have spent hiding as a straight or confused kid. And when the boy we fall in love with betrays that ultimate brotherhood bond, it can be devastating and lead to an almost paranoid state of codependency and becoming hypersensitive to any possible indication of disloyalty to compensate for and protect against getting hurt again. Your intimate time suffers and you become distant.

Tips For Rebuilding Trust

But there is good news, it is possible to heal and move on from broken trust and actually gain a stronger relationship or one with better understanding. You should decide if you are really interested in salvaging your relationship with each other and that you’re doing it for the right reasons though. There's no reason to force a relationship just because the other guy is 'hot' and you must be with him. That's definitely the wrong reason and probably one of the main reasons couples end up fighting. Of course it sucks being alone and having to start over again but it's better being alone then with someone that doesn't respect you. Also, make sure your motives are in the right place and that you both want to salvage the relationship because it's worth saving.

Here are some recommendations that can help promote repairing trust to a new level of intimacy:

  • Figure out if your relationship is carrying some baggage from your past ; your boyfriend is not your ex or your father who may have hurt you before. Focus on him and today and deal directly with reality and not distractions or what ifs or could a beens.


  • Be kind to others. Nothing can help you feel good about yourself and the human spirit better than serving those in need or random acts of kindness. This helps renew the fact that there is goodness in people and can be accomplished in many ways. Be sure access your support system too.


  • You and your boy will need to learn how to communicate better and listen to each other. You might even want to search for a trained therapist if you both think it's necessary. Difficult discussions will be presented and you each of you will need to be able to vocalize yourself and understand each other’s needs. Acknowledging each other’s experiences of the problem and reaching some sort of an understanding of how and why this happened will help tremendously with the healing process.


  • You will both need to take responsibility for what role you played in the indiscretion and be open to apologizing and forgiving each other.


  • You might even want to create a new “relationship contract”, agreeing to behavior that’s fair and ensuring you each agree to these same definitions. Make sure to identify any unrealistic expectations to avoid any set-ups for sabotage.


  • You should both create a healing climate in your relationship. Maybe stop going out so much or hanging out with friends. Spending quality time together will allow you both to understand each other's pain as well as needs and let go of all the competition, jealousy, blame, or defensiveness. Introduce new attention and understanding of each other’s needs. Demonstrate to each other consistently that you are each priorities to one another and remember that you get back what you put into your relationship.


  • Monitor your self-talk and stop any negative thoughts that could interfere with your relationship efforts and your own self-esteem. Once you both feel more confident that the relationship is healthy, begin the process of re-establishing a secure identity where you’re open to taking risks and being vulnerable again.


  • Learn to “let go” of any bitterness to allow each of you the opportunity to grow and change. Talk about your positive memories, behaviors, interactions, and characteristics of each other to keep you balanced and hopeful.


  • Conclusion

    The road to recovery from torn up trust can lead you to a lot of self-discovery and growth in your relationship a positive mindset. Recognize how trust issues play out between you and your boyfriend, identify behavior that you both need to overcome, and confront any blocks that might hold you back from your goals. Also, realize that trust needs constant feeding in relationships and that the hardest thing in the world for you both to do right now is an essential component of moving forward—becoming vulnerable again. But by opening yourself up, you’ll truly be able to see if you’re loved for who you really are and you’ll be a more attractive and a happier person in life as a person as well as a couple.



    Getting Liquid

    How many gay teenage boys masturbate?

    We all know surveys have consistently shown that more than 95% of gay teens engage in masturbation. Some say the other 5% are liars or sexually frigid. From the responses GSR received, it sounds like every gay guy is doing it and all the time or at least as much as they can get away with.

    Some surveys went on to say there was no difference in the rate of masturbation between boys brought up in a Christian environment compared to those brought up without Christian influence. The boys from Christian backgrounds did, however, feel more guilt over masturbation. Boo hoo for them.

    It's obvious gay boys cannot fail to know about masturbation at a young age these days since it is a regular topic at school yard and the Internet. (A 2005 Internet survey (3) claimed 70% of young boys had masturbated by their 12th birthday and 94% by their 13th birthday).

    Will my other  friends know I have been masturbating?

    I feared my friends would be able to tell. I thought I might act different or walk differently the next day after masturbating. I remember my peers accusing me of doing it, and I didn't say anything to defend myself, because I knew it was true. I tried to quit altogether a few times, although quitting never lasted more than a couple of days or a week at most.

    If you clean up after masturbating, then no-one will be able to tell - including your parents. The only clue would be if your penis was red and sore from too much masturbation.

    Why do I feel guilty afterwards?

    After I'm done masturbating I usually feel guilty and don't know why. I know that almost 95% of all gay guys do it, but I still feel guilty. It's like I'm hiding something. age 12, Canada

    How come whenever I'm done masturbating, I feel like I was being stupid and have the urge to put on my clothes immediately? age 14, New York

    That is an extremely common reaction, and it's almost certainly physiological (i.e., physical rather than mental) in origin. For most gay boys, something just shuts their brain off to sex when they're done ejaculating. For many, this manifests itself in the form of guilt -- that you were "being stupid" (as you put it), or they ask themselves, "Why did I just do that?" This is all normal, and you'll probably outgrow it as you get older.

    Some males find less problem with the feelings of guilt if they only masturbate before they go to sleep at night. That way, the body and mind has many hours to chill out before tackling the outside world again.

    Why can't I stop masturbating?

    If I could go back 2 years, I would not have started to masturbate in the first place. First, I feel guilty. Second, it now takes up a lot of my time. Third, I don't think it has benefited me in any way — it has just made me less pure. I think masturbation is a waste of my time. I don't even really enjoy it, and I feel miserable afterwards. Why the heck can't I stop masturbating? age 17, Nova Scotia, Canada

    An Internet survey asked the following question about masturbation:

    "Not counting your childhood, what is the most number of days you've gone without masturbating?"


    4 or less days
    27.6%

    5 or 6 days
    22.7%

    7 to 30 days
    41.7%

    more than 30 days
    8.0%

    The results may be slanted by the background of the people answering a survey of this type, but as you can see, the trend is that half the males could not go longer than a week and less than 8% could go without masturbating for more than a month!

    The need to periodically release semen is so strong, especially in a young gay male, that the urge to masturbate is nearly unavoidable. Even if you are able to stop masturbating for a while (like a week), your body may respond by releasing semen at night in a nocturnal emission (or "wet dream")

    The biological reason you can't stop masturbating for a long time is that the sexual pressure continues to build within you because of the hormone called testosterone in your blood. The sexual pressure continues to build (whether you want it to or not) until you ejaculate your semen by some method. Most likely we guys are designed this way to ensure the human race continues to multiply.

    The best advice seems to be that if find the need to masturbate, then to accept it as a normal part of your being.

    Weird things happen when I do stop masturbating!

    Once during the summer after my junior year (age 16), I was too tired at night to masturbate. I went an entire week this way. Toward the end of the week, not only was I having vivid sex dreams but I was almost hallucinating — everything I saw had a sexual component or context. I was "seeing" genitalia in all things (and in the worst possible ways). To tell you the truth, I don't recommend it.

    I gave up porn a few months ago and I gave up masturbation for Lent. Well I fully intend on holding true to that promise but it's been really hard so far and it has only been 9 days! Just seeing a guy or a pic of a guy or seeing a guy on T.V makes me get a hard-on and not just for a few seconds. I'm talking staying hard for a good 20-30 mins at times and not only that, I'm thinking about porn more often now too.15 year old boy - USA

    I'm 17. Recently I went a few days without masturbating, and to my surprise I found myself notably more attracted to guys. I suddenly found myself staring at guys I'd never noticed before, as if I were in love. Did my abstaining from masturbation lead to this at all?

    Probably. If you're used to ejaculating regularly, going without can really mess with your head. The results can vary; in your case it seems to have been rather pleasant, but others report almost a temporary insanity, when you're liable to do things and think things you definitely wouldn't otherwise.

    Over time, the sexual pressure builds again and the boy will feel compelled to express the sexual pressure in his body again no matter how strong his determination was to 'never do it again'.

    No masturbation!

    It's really easy for me to put off masturbating. When I was 13, I masturbated for about a year but haven't done so since. I don't need to masturbate and I don't have a boyfriend. I have a wetdream in my sleep about once every 2 months. ...it seems that I am the only person who does not masturbate. age 22, Australia

    I recently tried to quit masturbation and in the process I ended up sleeping with my boyfriend While trying to quit I went so nuts that I lost my virginity with him. Regular masturbation had controlled my passion in the past when I was with him. I thought I was stronger and when I quit masturbating the passion got too strong. Right now I am facing a lot of mental anguish and have had thoughts of suicide. 19 year old - Florida

    What about the fantasies (lust)?

    If you have a problem with sexual fantasies or sexual temptation, they are not weird or oversexed as some think; they are very normal.

    Every boy, without exception, will find the connection between lust and sexual turn-on, whether they are looking for that connection or not. This connection often begins with a wet dream, which obviously is totally outside the control of any boy.

    After that connection has been established, it is permanently resident in every boy's brain. The next step is "how do I handle this new side of my personality"?

    You've got two options:

    1. Control the fantasies and lust as best you can and masturbate when the internal hormonal pressure causes the sexual pressure to build. This option keeps your sexual nature as an important part of his personality in the context originally designed.

    2. Feed the fantasies and lust and cultivate a sexual desire from porn or fantasies.

    The more frequently you masturbate, the more fantasy you require to get an orgasm each time. This option becomes a vicious circle - the more you feed your lust, the more it demands to be fed!

    Guys in the early stages of puberty

    Young guys in the early stages of puberty often report that it is difficult for them to regulate their masturbation. This is possibly because their immature bodies are flooded with hormones that they haven't had time to adjust to yet.

    My advice to guys in this situation, is that if you aren't feeding the lust with porn and deliberately filling your eyes with other guys bodies then this is probably the best you can do at this stage.

    What about masturbation with other guys?

    Masturbation with other males strengthens the link of sexual excitement directed toward males that might direct your sexuality in that direction if you want it to.

    Many young guys compare erections and masturbate with other young guys out of curiosity. This is not a big deal. It doesn't necessarily mean you are gay because it turned you on, it may be more of a passing curiosity phase. If you have been involved in comparing erections with other guys, then let enjoy it and don't dwell - don't get locked into the guilt of having the presence of another boy with you as your method of getting turned on. If it does turn you on then go with it, if not, then stop.

    Q & A

    How much masturbation is too much?

    Every boy is created with a different temperament so it is difficult to define 'too much' masturbation. A few boys never masturbate (so they claim), others do it occasionally and at the other end of the spectrum, others do it several times a day. There is no such thing as a healthy or unhealthy amount but just like anything else it shouldn't interfere with your social life.

    My penis gets red and sore from masturbation. What can I do to stop that happening (other than stopping masturbation) 14 year old boy, Australia

    Some guys use lubrication (lube) when they masturbate. Don't use soap or shampoo because they will irritate the skin on your penis and inside the uretha (slit) of your penis. Lube also produces pleasant sensations during masturbation and can be bought at any grocery or drug store.

    Advice on being discrete

    "Even if you know it's normal and all that, you still lock the door! You don't go around advertising that you're doing it..... Everybody does it, but they sort of pretend they don't" (2) 16 year old boy USA

    Vocabulary

    Masturbation

    It's sex-by-yourself, it's "solo-sex." Stimulating (usually rubbing) the penis to achieve orgasm and ejaculation. (slang - wanking, jerking off, jacking off, beating the meat, beating off, whacking off, spanking the monkey... and lots of others)

    Semen

    The fluid that comes out your penis during ejaculation. Sperm live in this fluid (slang - cum, jizz, spooge)

    Ejaculation

    Literally means "suddenly" and refers to semen coming out of the erect penis. (slang - cuming, shooting your wad, spooging)

    Orgasm

    Intense feelings and muscle contractions associated with ejaculation.

    Lust

    Feelings toward others of sexual: craving; eagerness; desire; passion; urges.

    Fantasy

    Imagining sexual acts with others gay boys in order for you to achieve ejaculation.


    Best Friend Crush

    Kyle and I have been friends since our parents took us both to day care back in the day. I guess we were always together mainly 'cause our parents carpooled us to school and we always seemed to get along with each other more then with the other kids. It's not like we were loners in our own world, we just seemed to like the same things and fascinated each other with something new all the time. I guess it was around third grade that I started seeing Kyle as attractive even though him and I would talk about girls all the time. I just never really separated the two. They were cute and attractive to me and so was Kyle, no big deal is what I thought.

    Growing up we had the closeness that comes from being best friends, swimming, surfing, and just hanging out during and after school. We were pretty much inseparable and our parents encouraged it 'cause together we were loads of fun and always had some new adventure to talk about. I think it helped that our parents were best friends too 'cause that would mean that we'd take trips together and spend time at each others house a lot. I don't even remember fighting much 'cause most of the time we were either just playing or dreaming about things together.

    Then puberty hit, hard. Kyle developed a little bit earlier then me. I remember the time we were swimming out in our pool and he raised his arm and I saw hair on him for the first time. I said something about it and he was sorta embarrassed about it. Like it was weird he was growing up and I wasn't yet. I don't know why but seeing him in the pool that day, more as a teen then a kid now that he was growing hair, is what did me in. From that very moment I was hooked on Kyle but in a way I wasn't familiar with and didn't know if he felt the same way too.

    Since Kyle was my best friend, the last thing I wanted to do was freak him out and I knew that he would understand anything I was going through 'cause we had always been so close and didn't have any secrets between each other. Since I hadn't experienced these kinds of feelings before, especially for a boy, I sorta became introverted that day 'cause I was trying to sort out these feelings.

    Kyle knew something was up right away, he always knows and he always calls me out on it. He asked me if something was wrong or if I was hurt or something. I said no but that I started feeling weird about things in a sexual way and he said that yeah, he was started to feel those sorta things too now that he was getting older. He asked if it was about a girl we both knew that swam with us sometimes and I said no, that it wasn't a competitive thing with him or anything like that. He kept asking and I knew that that's just how Kyle was, he was just concerned and wanted his friend back.

    Knowing this I thought it was just best to be honest so I told him that seeing him with armpit hair sorta made me attracted to him in a sexual way. In typical Kyle fashion he just said if it made me freak then he would shave it off, we both laughed and then he swam up really close to me and said 'dude, it's ok, don't hide your feelings 'cause it will just drive you crazy, you're my friend and i will always care for you and anything we go through we can work out'. This was Kyle, looking back this was probably one of the main reasons I feel so hard for him.

    Kyle and I have still remained best friends. In fact, we're probably closer now then we've ever been. After that initial crush I started puberty and Kyle would make fun of my body growth too. He constantly flirts with me and has now started to be even more affectionate then before. When people ask whether he's gay he says no but his boyfriend is. That would be me.

    Because Kyle is so comfortable with me being gay, or at least questioning, I have also learned to respect his boundaries, I don't try and mess with him or pretend some day he'll turn gay for me. He's just not that way, just like maybe I'm not going to be straight, and I respect that. I do however love that he's so comfortable with me, actually more comfortable then even before when we were just best friends, and I appreciate that he can be so affectionate with me, even in public, it makes me feel good I have such great friend like Kyle that supports and understands me and what I'm going through.

    Someday I know I'll probably date a guy, or maybe even a girl, I'm still undecided. But in the meantime I have an amazing friend that gets me and gives me all the attention and good advice I need.

    -Brian J.


    Advice On Coming Out To Your Family And Friends

    You've thought about it a lot. So - you're sure you are gay boy. Now what? It might help to tell somebody like a close friend or family member you can trust. You don't have to do this but if you have problems at some point, you will have someone to turn to for support and advice and it might just help releasing this big thing being held over your head. A person that you're close with that you can talk to about your life. But who should you to tell? This is an even better question. It could be that you are more comfortable keeping all this to yourself since no one comes to mind that you feel comfortable talking with. Or you may wish to hide the fact that you are gay and "live-a-lie". But this can be a lonely path to take–a way that can only make you feel more isolated from your family and friends.

    So before you act, think it over carefully and only decide to come out if you feel you are really prepared and ready. You might never actually feel 'ready' but if it's burning your insides to tell someone that sometimes it's just best to tell it to someone, anyone. There is never any rush for you to do this and never consider doing it under any peer pressure. Some gay teens live under constant intense pressure from fellow peers who are not gay positive and are actually abusive and homophobic. This can be super intimidating and scare you into not coming out which can be a big mistake. There is often social pressure to act "straight" –especially if you are an athlete on a school team . Coming out to my high school teen jocks is guaranteed to make me the butt head of endless jokes and catcalls –and so I have avoided that. And remember, you don't have to come out to everyone all at once. Pick your spots carefully and find someone you can trust but again only when you are both ready for a serious talk. And there is no right time for this- only you can judge your own situation. Coming out without giving it lots of thought and planning can lead to much emotional distress and unhappiness for both of you.

    But what if a friend asks you if you are gay before you are ready to admit it. This is why it pays to have given this issue some advance thought. And if it's a trusted friend, then he or she has just made it easier for you to bring up the subject. But again if you are not ready, then it's okay to tell a white lie and deny it. Later when you are more prepared you can tell your friend you regret the lie but you just weren't ready to come out at that time. If truly a friend, your friend will understand.

    So here's my advice about coming out:

    • Think it over carefully before you tell someone you trust. Try to imagine what their reaction may be and be prepared for it, not everyone's going to be thrilled or supportive.
    • If they say they already thought you might be gay, don't be upset; it just makes it easier on both of you and they're probably saying it to save you any heartache when you're telling them.
    • Do not to apologize for being gay. It's not your fault, in fact, it's not a fault at all..
    • If you get asked a ton of questions be as honest as possible. People won't expect you to be an expert but they'll probably have a lot of questions for you..
    • Don't come out just to shock someone. No one likes news like that thrown in their face. Don't do it to be emo either. You either are or you aren't.
    • Do not come out in the midst of an argument when everyone's upset.
    • It's probably best not to come out to a group of people since not all of the group members may ask questions that are supportive and will actually attempt to hurt you in order to impress the group or make it clear to the group that they are not gay.
    • Don't feel like you must tell everyone; you can come out only to certain people and the rest will eventually find out with time anyway.
    • You should probably expect some people to go on the attack with moral and relgious issues. Just listen to what they say and if they do not accept your responses, then they're not respecting you as a person.
    • If things don't go as you expected, it helps to have a prepared way out. Something like thanking them for their perspective and you hope that someday they'll be able to understand you better.
    • Some people will never accept the fact that you are gay. If this happens to you it is likely there is nothing you can do about it. Just accept that fact and don't continually push the gay thing on them.
    • Make an effort to get some literature both for yourself and the person you tell. It make may it easier to have a frank discussion.
    • Also, give the person you've come out to some breathing room to think about what you just told them 'cause it's a whopper. You don't have to discuss the whole gay issue right then and there. Let them absorb the basic fact first and maybe have a more detailed discussion later.
    • Some people only see the gay stereotypes and you may not fit the stereotype ingrained in their mind. Give them some time to accept you as a gay teen.
    • Give serious thought to coming out to a very homophobic family. Your life might not be the same after coming out to them and you might lose them. You could be thrown out of the house and told never to come back or you could be enrolled in treatment to correct your sexual urges.
    • Listen carefully to the person you are planning to come out to beforehand to get an idea of what their views on homosexuality are. This will help in deciding if they are an appropriate person to come out to and also help with the your strategy but will not always be the case. Sometimes people react more with more sensitivity when they find out someone close to them is gay.
    • Come out to someone in person -never by email or over the phone

    Its good to come out to someone for the support they can provide but remember to do so only when you are absolutely ready, the time is right and you've done some good solid planning. Personally I am out to a friend, my boyfriend (obviously), and just a month ago to my 15 year old bro. I am not yet out to my parents but that is not far off –I'm just not ready for that yet. I'd also like to hear from you about your experiences coming out or your fears and post them here-if you agree to that. Just email me. Thanks -Jackson.


    Is Your Boy Gay? How to tell...

    Here's what Focus on the Family worries about when their boys show different behavior from other boys and question whether their boys will grow up to be gay boys. I guess a gay son can't be counted upon to ensure the preservation of masculinity and masculine control of society in the future, which we all know is so untrue. A lot of young gay boys grow up to be strong masculine examples of men and continue to carry on doing manly things just like their straight counterparts.

    1) Your boy has a strong feeling he is “different from other boys.” As we all know, boys must feel exactly like all other boys, or else they are clearly homosexual. Not in today's world. It's ok to be different. To actually have feelings, and that doesn't necessarily mean you're a gay teen.

    2) “A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy.” Of course, on a relative scale, some boys are bound to be less athletic than others. Well, sorry. These boys are gay boys. So not true. Tons of home schooled boys and charter schooled boys aren't subjected to the relentless athletic jock syndrome and grow up to be straight but not very athletic.

    3) “A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play.” When you see him play cowboys and Indians, and he wants to be the squaw... uh, oh. I really don't know many gay or straight boys that do that. I think Focus on the Family is stretching it a bit here.

    4) “A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes.” For example, boys must never play with their sisters. Isn’t that the leading cause of homosexuality right there? Why? Can't boys learn from girls and vice versa without having sex being a part of the equation? Seems like straight boys would purposely want to play with girls to get closure to them and be a better prospective mate.

    5) “A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them ‘queer,’ ‘fag’ and ‘gay.’” Yes, parents, if the kid next door calls your son a fag, then he is. Four year-old neighbors have a sixth sense: They see gay boys. Ummm, aren't all boys constantly playing the domination role with their peers? Maybe parents need to teach their sons that name calling doesn't make them better then other boys and that boys that don't fight back are actually a better person because of that.

    6) “A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even ‘think’ effeminately.” Effeminate thinking is destroying our nation; someone better tell Condoleeza Rice. So what's more disturbing; the super jock on steriods or someone that crosses their legs differently and speaks in complete sentences. Evolution people. Evolution.

    7). “A repeatedly stated desire to be -- or insistence that he is -- a girl.” This is the clearest sign. Apparently, your young homosexual will actually announce his sexual orientation by telling you, while drinking his juicy-juice, that he is actually a girl. Not a gay. A girl. This is a whole different situation. Not all potential gay boys have sexual identity confusion, in fact they like their manhood as well as other manhoods.

    According to Dobson of Focus on the Family, any boy displaying “several” of these signs should be rushed off for professional help right away — before reaching puberty. Evidently, once the boys hit puberty the adolescent hormones kick in and teens experience “great waves of guilt accompanied by secret fears of divine retribution.” I guess parents aren’t supposed to consider that this could be alleviated by ceasing to promote narrow-minded religious ideas about homosexuality. Fun stuff eh?


    GayBoySupport.nl

    Love and sexuality are amongst the most important things in life. If you are a guy who fancies gay guys instead of girls, you are one of at least six hundred million homosexual people world wide. Coming out and admitting that you are gay isn't always easy. Many questions you have may stay unanswered. Some gay teens get bullied. This can be very painful. GayBoySupport helps gay teens by providing information and support. More and more teenagers feel o.k. about being gay and experience few or no problems with the people around them. That is the way it should be! You have a problem or a burning question? Visit GayBoySupport.

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    Chadz Zone Gay Teen Boy Support

    Chadz Zone gay teen boy support area features advice & resources for gay teens. Get support on coming out, real-life stories & experiences, letters, overcoming suicide thoughts, and dealing with shyness, same sex relationship dangers, AIDS & us. Plus first-hand accounts by some gay teen boy members. [click here]

    Before you even think of having sex with anyone, read this 20 page section on what you need to know about your gay teen body and how to practice smart safe sex and keep yourself a happy, healthy and alive gay boy. [click here]

    Chadz Zone main zone featuring their daily cartoon, poll & horoscope and fun links. Also Media, world news, gay teen boys' poems and poetry, boy's stories & fiction, gay teen boy blogs, gay boy's forums for exchanging views, making friends. Guestbook & awards -fun stuff, what's new, contact & about gay teen boys.

    As parents we cling to many perfect scenarios about our kids. When they're babies, they'll never throw tantrums in the mall. When they become first-graders, they'll never have trouble learning or ever be sent to the principal's office. When they're teenagers, they'll never do drugs, get pregnant, or tell us that they're gay.

    Those are the fantasies. But any mom or dad who's been a parent for more than 45 seconds knows that children delight in relieving us of our paranoias, even while they bring us joy and wonder. Such is the case in families where a teenagers sexual identity becomes an issue. Acknowledging that one's child has sexual feelings at all is difficult enough for many parents. But realizing that a child may not be following the traditional path, in terms of sex and relationships, can cause parents even more distress since they question their own parenting skills and what they could possibly have done 'wrong' in raising the child.

    "Is my son gay?", "Can I as a parent find it within myself to accept my child's sexual identity, or should I try to dissuade my child of his or her feelings?" These can be very hard questions for parents to consider. Here are some facts, opinions, and resources to help in the search for understanding.





    How many gay, lesbian, bi and transsexual (GLBT) teenagers are there in the United States? No one really knows, but the Kinsey Report estimates that one of every ten teens may be GLBT.

    What can parents say or keep to themselves if they suspect a teen is GLBT? Carolyn Wagner, national vice president of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) (pflag.org), says a good place to start is with a statement that offers acceptance instead of judgment. This lets a gay teen know that Mom or Dad is approachable and open to discussions about sexual identity:

    "I just want to let you know that if you're having feelings that are different from other boys that it's okay to tell me because there's nothing you can say to me that's going to make me any less proud of you, or love you any less."


    What should parents say or keep to themselves if a teen says he is gay or bisexual? When a teen comes out, the same expression of love and support is called for, Wagner believes. She urges parents to separate their belief in their child from whatever religious beliefs may conflict with a child's sexual identity.

    "When our 13-year-old son talked to us about being a gay boy, my husband said, 'Son, I love you and you're the same son to me that you were five minutes ago.' It was very straightforward and simple. Our son jumped up, huge tears rolling down his face, and gave his father a big hug. It was only then that we learned he'd tried to commit suicide several times, and had been getting depressed. Talking really was a big relief and quite possibly saved his life."



    Click here to visit Gayteens.org

    Facts and Resources

    How serious is the risk of HIV infection and AIDS to gay teens?

    According to the federal government's Centers for Disease Control (CDC), half of all new HIV infections in the United States are among people under age 25. Although the overall incidence of AIDS cases is declining, there has not been a comparable decline in the number of newly diagnosed HIV infections among the youth population. You might consider that younger gays are not playing safe but rather barebacking because they don't have the informational materials to understand the dangers involved with unprotected sex.

    13- to 24-year-old males, 50 percent of all AIDS cases reported in 2003 were among guys having sex with guys, as opposed to 8 percent of AIDS cases among heterosexual males.

    Is the threat of depression or suicide serious for gay teens?

    A 2004 U.S. government report on youth suicide started a controversy claiming that gay teens are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide that other young people, and 30 percent of those teens actually do take their own lives. Subsequent studies have shown consistently high rates of suicide attempts by gay youths.

    How serious is the threat of anti-gay violence?

    Says David Buckel, senior staff attorney for the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund (lambdalegal.org): "Anti-gay harassment and violence is a plague in our nation's public schools. Studies show that large numbers of gay-identified students do not feel safe at school, are often threatened or injured, and often stay home for fear of injury."

    Parents should know that the rights of GLBT students are protected by the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment, and by the 14th Amendment's requirement of equal treatment under the law. In public schools, this means that a school district is bound by federal law to protect all students from anti-gay harassment just as it protect students from other kinds of harassment.

    Here's what psychiatrists say about sexual orientation?

    According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, "Parents need to understand that being gay or haveing gay thoughts is not a mental disorder. The cause of homosexuality are still not fully understood. A person's sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. Individuals have no more choice about being homosexual than heterosexual. All teenagers do have a choice about their expression of sexual behaviors and lifestyle, regardless of their sexual orientation." (For more information, go to aacap.org and look under "Facts for Families" for fact sheet #63, "Gay and Lesbian Adolescents.")

    What do the terms "reparative therapy" and "transformational ministry" mean?

    "Reparative therapy" refers to a controversial therapeutic practice intended to eliminate an individual's gay sexual desires. "Transformational ministry" is the use of religious or pastoral counseling to eliminate those desires. Both practices are based on religious theory and not scientific facts.

    What do the organized religions say about raising gay teenagers?

    Both the American Baptist and Unitarian churches are open and accepting of gay church members. But across the country, many individual priests and ministers of all religions are openly defying the edicts of the church hierarchy and showing support for parents raising gay, lesbian, bi and transsexual youth. The same is true of many unaffiliated Christian churches. Even the Catholic church has now said that being gay in itself is not a sin but the act of homosexuality is. So you can be gay but not act on it and still go to heaven.

    What about the future (marriage and grandchildren?)

    Says PFLAG's Wagner: "This is where you as a parent project your own traditional plans and dreams, for weddings and grandchildren, rather than look at your gay child's own hopes for the future. But just because your child is gay doesn't mean you are not going to have a wedding or grandchildren or that they won't lead a normal life. Many gays seek a more traditional lifestyle that includes extended families, adoptions, and partnerships with others that may or may not even be gay or a sexual partner. The rules are all changing"

    [click here for more information]



    Stopping Gay Teen Suicide

    By Ciara Torres

    Researchers have known that one-third of all teenagers who commit suicide are gay. This statistic is incredibly shocking because, according to the Kinsey Report, gay teens only comprise one-tenth of the teen population. This means that they are 300 percent more likely to kill themselves than heterosexual youth. But in another sense, it is predictable that gay teens kill themselves more often than other youth simply because their life chances are become limited by social and legal discrimination. Only when this discrimination is eliminated might these shocking statistics change.

    Examples of discrimination are prevelant across the United States. In 42 states, gays have no legal protection from employment or housing discrimination. Even worse, laws put on the books during colonial times, and still in effect, continue to criminalize homosexual acts in 25 states. These laws were upheld in 1986 by the Supreme Court in the Bowers v. Hardwick case.

    Thus young gay individuals figure they must hide their gay identity for fear of social and legal consequences which c ould possibly destroy their lives. Gays can be fired from employment, evicted from housing, kept from their own biological children, restricted from adopting children, and in some states, imprisoned for sodomy. The homosexuality of historical figures has been systematically left out of education in the public schools, giving gay youth the false idea that gays have never affected history in a good way.

    Also many gay teens risk losing their friends or being thrown out of their homes if they come out or are inadvertently outed by a friend or family member. There is a direct relation between the social perception of gays and the rights accorded to gays. Many Christians and Jews believe that God considers homosexual acts sinful. Others believe homosexuality goes against nature but if we are all part of nature then is nature part of what we do too? Regardless, these beliefs continue to fuel legal discrimination against gays. Most of the population doesn't realize that these legal loopholes leave gays completely vulnerable to homophobes.

    But laws weren't intended to be based on public prejudice. Our country has a long history of discriminating legally against groups that were stigmatized socially; the Chinese, the Irish, and Blacks. It is more important to have the legal protections in place first. To compare this to African-American history, one reason that de facto segregation could be fought was that de jure segregation was found illegal in 1954. The legal protections enable the social discourse to continue peacefully.

    Right after President Clinton's election, gays and supporters of gay rights were extremely hopeful because they anticipated he would lead the battle for gay rights. One of his first acts after lifting the moratorium on fetal research and the "Gag Rule" was an attempt to lift the ban on gays in the military. But when President Clinton met resistance, he showed his true colors. When the pressure was on, he backed down on gay rights and agreed to a weak "don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue" policy which was struck down last month by a federal district court as a limit on free speech.

    When the Republican's took over after the 1994 elections, a more conservative right-wing attitued prevailed giving the country the false impression that they have to mandate a trample on the rights of gays. And although they are winning votes and support through fear, they are coming against a backlash for their myopic viewpoints. They rely on old myths and stereotypes that gays are promiscuous and pedophilic.

    Of course these accusations are absurd: Studies show that a child's risk of being molested by a heterosexual are 100 times greater than being abused by a gay man. Another myth is that AIDS is a gay disease or that gays are responsible for the epidemic. AIDS affects nine times as many heterosexuals as homosexuals worldwide. It was American gays who brought the disease to the public's attention, not the Reagan Administration, who would not even mention the word AIDS until 1987. And it was gays who lobbied for research money and the distribution of information to the public.

    With all the dabate about gay rights in Congress, the risk that all the progress that has been made on local levels could possibly be erased. Gay rights today are a patchwork of different ordinances; therefore, an act that is protected in one state can be criminalized in another state. The risk is if Gingrich and Helms have their way with instituting anti-gay legislation, it could override local ordinances that protect gays from all sorts of discrimination even in their own liberal hometown. Also, the Supreme Court has agreed to review Colorado's Amendment Two decision in Evans v. Romer which affirmed gay rights. This could also put gay rights in jeopardy since the court has a conservative majority.

    The Federal level is not the only place gays face evil. Almost any right wing coalition can get an anti-gay initiative on local ballots. The most recent blow to gay Americans came in Montana in late March. The Montana Senate approved with a voice vote a measure that would put gays and lesbians in the same category as violent felons. If this measure passes, gays and lesbians would be required by law to register their location with the state for the rest of their lives. Also, California Governor, Pete Wilson, has changed a state policy so that, starting in March 1995, gay couples can no longer adopt children. Similarly, Nebraska will no longer place children with people who identify themselves as homosexual. Of course all this legislation still has to pass and the country is becoming more open to gay acceptance. Hopefully the population will prevail and these homophobic politicians will become the dinosaurs of today.


    Which Gay Teens Attempt Suicide?

    A study detailed in Pediatrics{1} pinpoints some key elements associated with the risk of attempted suicide in gay teenagers. "Compared with non-attempters, attempters had more feminine gender roles, and adopted a bisexual or homosexual identity at younger ages. Attempters were more likely than peers to report sexual abuse, drug abuse, and arrests for misconduct."

    The researchers say that suicide attempts appear to be related to "'coming out' at a younger age, gender atypicality, low self-esteem, substance abuse, running away, involvement in prostitution, and other psychosocial morbidities." In 44% of cases, subjects attributed the suicide attempts to "'family problems,' including conflict with family members and parents' marital discord, divorce, or alcoholism."

    Similarly, Saghir and Robins reported in 1973 (Male and Female Homosexuality: A Comprehensive Investigation; Baltimore, MD: Williams and Wilkins) that youthful suicide attempts in a group of homosexual adults were "often in association with a history of childhood gender-atypical behavior or emotional disturbance."

    Two key points can be inferred from these studies. First, that treatment for Gender Identity Disorder of Childhood (GID), which is now under strong attack from within the psychological profession, may indeed be therapeutic for prevention of suicide attempts in adolescence. Gay and feminist advocacy groups have been lobbying for deletion of the diagnostic category.{2} In contrast, clinicians such as Kenneth Zucker and Susan Bradley believe that it is ethical and therapeutic to help children become more comfortable with their biological maleness or femaleness (Gender Identity Disorder and Psychosexual Problems in Children and Adolescents, 1995, New York: Guilford Press) and to alleviate the emotional and family problems often associated with childhood gender nonconformity.

    Second, since early gay-self-labeling is associated with attempted suicide, it seems unwise to encourage young people to label themselves as gay during the volatile teenage years. The teen years serve as a transitional phase when affectional, emotional and identification needs can be eroticized. "No service is done to our children by offering them lifestyle options before they are properly able to make informed choices about them," says Dr. George Rekers, professor of neuropsychiatry and a specialist in psychosexual disorders at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine.{3}

    Footnotes:

    {1} ("Risk Factors for Attempted Suicide in Gay and Bisexual Youth, by Gary Remafedi, James Farrow and Robert Deisher, vol. 87, no. 6, June 1991, pp. 869-875)

    {2}The American Psychological Association Monitor, June 1997.

    {3}Rekers, G., ed. (1995) Handbook of Child and Adolescent Sexual Problems. N.Y.: Lexington Books.


    Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Youth Suicide

    By Laurie Lindop

    "Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well-considered, and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit." Erik Erikson

    "This issue is not about a 'different' way of life; it is about life itself. I know that every teacher and every parent in this Commonwealth fundamentally agrees that no young person — gay or straight — should be driven to take her or his life because of isolation and abuse. This is a tragedy we must all work together to prevent. We can take the first step toward ending gay youth suicide by creating an atmosphere of dignity and respect for these young people in our schools.
    Governor William F. Weld, speaking at a Gay and Lesbian Youth Commission Teacher Training, Arlington Street Church, June 30, 1993.

    Overall Youth Suicides

    Suicide among adolescents is a national and statewide tragedy. The Massachusetts Department of Education asked more than 3,000 students in 1994 to answer questions anonymously and found that 10 percent had attempted suicide compared with 6 percent in 1990, 20 percent "made plans" to commit suicide compared with 14 percent in 1990. 3.4 percent required medical treatment as a result of a suicide attempt.

    1. Adolescent suicide has increased threefold in the last 10 years, making it the second most frequent cause of death among youths aged 15-24 (10 per 100,000 deaths per year).
    2. The incidence of suicide among adolescents between the ages of 15 and 19 had jumped from 2.7 per 100,000 in 1950 to 9.3 in 1982. The incidence of youth suicide stands at 11.3 per 100,000 today. It is estimated that suicide attempts are 40 to 100 times more common than completed suicides.
    3. An additional 500,000 youths of all sexual orientations attempt suicide annually.

    Suicides among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, & Transgender Youth

    In 1989, the United States Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) issued its "Report on the Secretary's Task Force on Youth Suicide," which found that "A majority of suicide attempts by homosexuals occur during their youth, and gay youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than other young people. They may comprise up to 30 percent of (the estimated 5,000) completed youth suicides annually.

    • The report recommended that "mental health and youth service agencies can provide acceptance and support for young homosexuals, train their personnel on gay issues, and provide appropriate gay adult role models; schools can protect gay youth from abuse from their peers and provide accurate information about homosexuality in health curricula; families should accept their child and work toward educating themselves about the development and nature of homosexuality."

      According to Kevin Berrill, Director of the Anti-Violence Project of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force at the time of the report's release stated, "The increased risk of suicide facing these youth is linked to growing up in a society that teaches them to hide and to hate themselves. We welcome this report and hope it will lead to action that will save lives."

      Initially, however, the report was suppressed by the Bush administration under pressure from right-wing groups and by conservatives in Congress. After the findings, William Dannemeyer, who was at the time a conservative Republican member of the U.S. House of Representatives from California, called for then-president Bush to "dismiss from public service all persons still employed who concocted this homosexual pledge of allegiance and sealed the lid on these misjudgments for good." HHS Secretary Louis Sullivan wrote in a letter to Dannemeyer that the study "undermined the institution of the family."

    • The findings of the report were leaked to the press and finally released. Other studies confirm these findings. Gary Remafedi, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, University of Minnesota, and author of Death by Denial: Studies of Attempted and Completed Suicide in Gay and Lesbian and Bisexual Youth, found in a 1991 study of 150 gay and lesbian youths in Minneapolis, more than 30% said they had attempted suicide at least once as a teenager.

      The youths who are at the greatest risk for suicide are the ones who are least likely to reveal their sexual orientation to anyone. Suicide may be a way of making sure that no one ever knows. It's homophobia that's killing these kids.

    • Remafedi confirmed a 30% suicide rate among gay and bisexual youth, and also found that young men with more "feminine gender role characteristics" and those who recognized their same-sex orientation at an early age and acted on those sexual feelings seem to face the highest risk of self-destructive behavior. The mean age in this sample at the time of the suicide attempts was 15 1/2 years. Ingestion of prescription and/or nonprescription drugs and self-laceration accounted for 80% of the attempts. Twenty-one percent of the suicide attempts resulted in medical or psychiatric hospitalization, but almost 3 out of 4 attempts did not receive any medical attention. One-third of the first attempts occurred in the same year that subjects identified their bisexuality or homosexuality, and most other attempts happened soon thereafter. Family problems were the most frequently cited reason for attempts. Eighty-five percent of the attempters reported illicit drug use and 22% had undergone chemical dependency treatment.
    • The earlier a young person is aware of a gay or lesbian orientation, the greater the problems they may face and may be more likely at risk of suicidal feelings and behavior.

      Younger gay adolescents may be at the highest risk for dysfunction because of emotional and physical immaturity, unfulfilled developmental needs for identification with a peer group, lack of experience, and dependence on parents unwilling or unable to provide emotional support. Younger gay adolescents are also more likely to abuse substances, drop out of school, be in conflict with the law, undergo psychiatric hospitalization, run away from home, be involved in prostitution, and attempt suicide.

    • Pollak found that nearly all gay and lesbian suicides occur between the ages of 16 and 21.
    • The fear of AIDS adds to the anxiety gay youths experience. According to Joyce Hunter, Behavioral Researcher at the New York State Psychiatry Institute's HIV Center in New York City:

      Gay teenagers already have so much to deal with that when they find out they are HIV-positive or even that they are going to have to live in a world where HIV is prevalent and a constant threat, they become overwhelmed. It's just another factor that can add to their suicidal thoughts.

      In February 1992, Massachusetts Governor William F. Weld signed an executive order establishing the Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, taken, in large part over concerns for the high incidence of suicide among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teens.


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