Couple of the Year
They're young, cute and playful. They're Olympians and have made their
mark in the diving world. But are
Thomas Finchum and David Boudia a gay couple? We certainly hope
so. What better role model for gay teens then two beautiful Olympian
US Olympic Diving Team]
The video game industry is expected to double in sales from 2005's $32.6 billion to $65.9 billion in 2011
with most growth taking place as a result of online and mobile gaming becoming more popular. With this amount of cash, gaming might just be a smart and fun career choice.
It's back to school time for a lot of gay teens and that means back to training for team sports or preparing for seasonal sports later on in the school
year. Some guys will come back bigger and stronger but proper training and preventing overuse of your new body is crucial for a successful athletic school year.
Jocks in Love
The old stereotype of the mean phobic football jock hasn't completely disappeared but in this Northern
California high school, two football stars found each other and love on the grid iron.
[click for Football]
Gay in the NBA - Is Pro Sports Ready for
So we just hit a milestone with two black coaches in the Super Bowl, right? So isn't the world ready for
gay pro athletes?
Read about a former NBA player and his story of what it's really like playing for the big leagues as a closeted
gay man and what it's going to take to be accepted as equals.
[click for Gay Athletes]
[click for Brawlers]
Pent up aggression or simply self-defense? We interview a few
gay guys who seem to always find themselves in situations
they need to fight themselves out of. Are we done trying to talk in a civil manner to our aggressors since the only thing that seems to get through to them are raging fists or is this just payback time?
Couple of the Year
It almost seems like they're a couple, walking
the diving platform. And when they stand up on the edge, looking out
over the water almost 33 feet below, Thomas Finchum is on the right,
David Boudia on the left. Always.
They're both still teenagers with huge smiles, and a sparkle in
their eyes that you usually only see in couples. But are they a
couple? Are they even gay? No one really knows, and maybe no one
really cares because the only thing important is that they're good at
diving and that's all that really matters at the moment.
Both have been diving for so long, been together above and in and
out of the pool for so long, that each is as much part of the other.
Like a beautiful young couple should be. David even remarked how close
they were in interview, so close they finish each others sentences
some of the time. When Thomas hears David say this on national
television, he just smiles, they both smile. And then once again you
see that twinkle in both their eyes.
Both are fluid, graceful, lean. Each is attuned not only to himself
but, as well, to the ballet of the other in a sport in which precision
is everything. Just like a perfect couple. Finchum, and only Finchum,
counts the beats: "One-two-three, go." In a voice reserved for someone
he really cares about: His partner.
The rhythm, the pace are always the same, never faster or
slower, always calm. One-two-three, go -- and they are off, tumbling, spinning,
falling and perhaps rising up and out of the water.
Thomas Finchum and David Boudia heralds a resurgence in American
diving to revitalize interest in a sport most Americans know of dimly,
and then primarily because of Greg Louganis, who came out as gay after
his Olympic success. Are Finchum and Boudia waiting to do the same
after their Olympic appearance? We can only hope so.
What a perfect example of young gay love they would make. Gay teens
the world over would have someone to look up to, a couple for young
gays to emulate as an alternative to the self-loathing gay teen that
has no real role-models to look up to.
Perhaps it's because more and more, younger divers are
home-schooled, as Finchum and Boudia among others, have been – to
allow more hours in training, in and out of the pool. That allow David
and Thomas to seem so close, so seemless and comfortable in their
Six days a week they're at it, six to seven hours per day – pilates,
ballet, strength training, trampoline work and diving. You can't help
wonder with this grueling routine they share day in, day out, that if
they're not a gay couple then perhaps they're a hybrid of two straight
guys that are as close as any gay couple can be. And there's not one
thing wrong with that.
Thomas Finchum and David Boudia have known each other since they
were tweens. They've been a synchro team for more than four years.
"They think alike, and from a scientific standpoint they have the same
mechanical movements. Just being n the pool doing everything has
really contributed to their
synchronized success." says Coach Wingfield of the couple.
Moreover, said Wingfield, "They look at each other as pushing each
other to be the very best and that's very healthy – as opposed to say,
being competitive and having them literally fighting for it."
Thomas and David mentor each other, challenge each other to become
each other's best. Boudia said, "When we do somersaults or something
like that, he doesn't have to count. We just know. "It's go on 'go.'
"Even on our bad days," Boudia said, "our synchro clicks. On our good
days, Thomas and I don't even have to think. He counts. I go. I do my
own dive. And that's the way synchro should be."
Finchum, speaking a few minutes later with Boudia a few yards away
across the pool, said, "There are definitely times when you're
competing when everything is just flowing. Your routine is spot-on.
Everything is working and you don't have to think about it. Those are
the ones that are the best. Everything is in place."
Hopefully everything will be in place and they'll announce they're
a gay couple. What an inspiration they would be for millions of gay
teens all over the globe.
Video Game Technology
I wasn’t around in 1972 when Atari released the first video game: Pong – a simple pixilated 2 player coin-operated game based on tennis; but my life would be affected by that release nonetheless. Pong sparked the fire for the videogame revolution, and not just in America ; it helped create a culture that is currently affecting 217 million people worldwide. It’s an industry that has become as large as the Hollywood movie industry: taking in 9.5 billion USD during 2007 in the United States alone.
Videogames have become a way of life, a culture, and a powerful and economically successful one at that. Grand Theft Auto IV developed by Rockstar netted $500 million in its first week of release, that’s $150 million, more than Spiderman 3: The movie made domestically throughout it’s duration of being in theatres.
Videogames have come a long way since Pong; we’ve seen Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mickey Mouse, Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter, Scorpion and Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat, this list could go on and on. There have been roughly 40 consoles released since the Atari 2600(released in 1982). Surprisingly the most popular one being Nintendo’s Game Boy: selling roughly 120 million unites worldwide. The first game boy was released in 1989 and has been a force to be reckoned with ever since. One of the main factors for the amazing success that the Game Boy has been “back-wards compatibility” meaning that whenever Nintendo releases a newer version of the Game Boy older games are still able to be played; this technology has also been adapted most recently by Sony with their Play station consoles.
The technological and computer revolution has gone hand in hand with the videogame revolution and each has played a major role in the others success. The advent of the CD-ROM allowed game developers to create more intricate experiences via better graphics and making more expansive games simply because the discs could store more than the cartridge based technology that was previously being used. Today the Blu-Ray and HD-DVD based systems are doing the exact same thing. We have games that are designed to be played on HD televisions with 7.1 surround sound where the graphics are so crisp that they look real and sound so captivating that it’s as if the experience is real. Take a look at any new games and you will see realistic physics and graphics that people who played Pong or Street Fighter could only dream about.
Videogames have expanded past the regular console based systems and games and has exploded onto the computer scene over the past 10 years. The one game that could be held most responsible for this is DOOM, developed by id software. DOOM is one of the original 1st person shooters (a genre of game where the player plays from the first perspective and walks around shooting at things) and it spawned an intense cult following that had people wanting and demanding more. There were two other DOOM titles released and there have been multiple other 1st person shooters that have been widely popular, most notably Counterstrike and Unreal Tournament.
Most recently the MMORPG (Massive Multi-player Online Role Playing Game) has been captivating gamers worldwide. The first to be truly successful was Ultima Online, developed by Origin Systems. The game balanced PVE (Player vs. Environment) and PVP (Player vs. Player) aspects of gaming while putting players from all over the glove onto a server where they could interact without each other and choose how they wanted to play the game. This was a totally new idea in regards to videogames, because no longer were players ordained to following a certain path, or developing their characters a certain way – now they called the shots and made all the choices. The freedom that inherently exists within MMORPG’s is one of the main reasons that they have experienced such wide success. Players can do whatever they want, they choose what their character is named, what they look like, how they fit into the game, what they do, what sort of skills they have, what sort of other players they want to associate with, they are in control of everything. The MMORPG that is taking the world by storm today; with over 10 million subscribers is Blizzard’s World of Warcraft: This is based on their already hugely popular strategy game series – Warcraft. There are a plethora of reasons why World of Warcraft (commonly referred to as WOW) is so insanely popular; the main one being that it is a full blown society. People can login and communicate with their friends; they can check their mail to see if any of their items were sold, they can create groups of people to go kill harder monsters or even to go kill other people. For the first time game servers can support users in the millions and people from all over the world can come together and choose to play cooperatively or competitively, or both.
There are new games being released constantly some of the most noteworthy upcoming releases are Street Fighter 4, Final Fantasy XIII, Warhammer Online, and AION. All of these games are using cutting edge technology and gaming ideas to draw attention to them. Street Fighter 4 will be the first game ever to incorporate hand drawn graphics and 3d animation, all while running at a frame-rate that is faster than any other fighting game before it. Final Fantasy VII, released in 1997 is responsible for some of the very first FMV Pre-rendered cut scenes the gaming world had seen – to this day the game is still compared with brand new RPGs because it melded story, game play and graphics in a way that had never been done before. Final Fantasy XIII looks to be just as graphically groundbreaking, sophisticated and stimulating as VII and has RPG fans around the world anxiously awaiting its release. Warhammer Online (WAR) is a MMORPG that is based on the popular strategy role-playing game Warhammer. WAR looks to bring very large scale PVP to the gaming population. It is a game based on war, and from the looks of it that is exactly what it will deliver: hundreds of people banding together in order to fight groups of other people so that the victor may establish dominance over a certain aspect of the server. AION is another MMORPG that looks to very promising. It is developed by the Korean based company: NCSoft which is known for their incredibly stylized graphics and intricate gaming environments. NCSoft’s new masterpiece pits two races, one good and one evil, against each other and also against the environmental monsters. From the initial videos the game is going to bring massive PVP as well as large scale PVE to the front and combining all of that with some beautiful characters designs and environment designs. Both AION and WAR look like they could potentially give WOW a run for its money in regards to the premier MMORPG.
Videogames and videogame culture has grown from being nothing more than what was perceived to be a passing fad into a multi-million dollar industry that is responsible for the way an entire group of people think and socialize. You don’t just have to be a nerd to play videogames. You don’t just have to wear glasses, you can be anyone and play games: you can be married, you can have kids, you can be a nerd, or a jock, and you can even be a surfer. This is because videogames connects people to the same thing that surfing does: fun. People want to do things that are fun, that’s why people surf and that’s why people play games, it’s a way to express themselves doing something that they love.
The Danger in Overdoing It
August is back to school for a lot of teens and that means back to training for team sports or preparing for seasonal sports later on in the school
year. Some guys will be coming back to school with bigger, more mature bodies, bringing more strength and stamina to the sports they love.
Although your new stronger body will bring benefits to your team, remember that it will also be a time of increasing concern
over overuse injuries and the health risks of competitive youth sports.
According to a study released at the American Orthopedic Society for Sports Medicine meeting
in Orlando, Fla., 30 percent of the teen athletes who had elbow reconstruction surgery
in 2006 were high school-age pitchers. In previous years it was only 12 percent. The difference? Teens
are specializing in one sport and playing it year round.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends teens wait until after puberty to specialize in one
sport, partly because their growth plates are not fully formed. Playing multiple sports helps
prevent overuse injuries by developing different muscle groups Boston orthopedic surgeon
Dr. Locher recently told the Associated Press, "A lot of the stuff teens used to do in
free play was ACL (tear) prevention." Building down-time into teens' busy schedules is good for
their bodies, families and social relationships.
You can't guarantee your teen won't get hurt playing sports, but you can prevent injuries by
playing multiple sports, diverse activities and taking breaks. Don't forget, it's your job
to help yourself stay healthy even as you strive to score.
How Our Coach Outed Us
- You can blame our coach, well that's if you think there's any blame to pass around. We met through coach Lad, the football coach at our high school. I'm
starting quarterback and Justin is my tight end, no pun intended.
We met on the freshman team when we were just little scrubs trying to make our name on the team and try to get some face time with the coaching
staff. We both played pop warner football when we we're young but we lived in different communities so we never got to play on the same team before but
since we both played offense I remembered his name from the games we would play in the playoffs. Justin has the body of a tight end, solid with strong
muscles and the ability to take hard hits. I would watch him go for a post pattern pass and get clocked by both corners and still get up lickity split. It's like
getting hit never even phased him and I guess it's 'cause his head and heart was in the game and that's why I was impressed by his performance.
We weren't really friends or anything like that before high school but we had a passion for football that kept us running in the same circles. We would
see each other from time to time at games we played or came to watch and each time we had a great time and seemed to form some kind of bond we both
didn't completely understand at the time. All I know is he was on my mind a lot and seemed to really be interested in all the dumb stuff I always brought up.
Sure we talked football but that wasn't all, we talked about where football would take us and whether or not we really had it in us to go the whole
distance. We talked about what teams we'd like to play for and where we'd end up living and how our lives would be. We never talked about sharing that
life with a girl though and we never stopped our conversations for very long when girls would come up and try get us to talk to them and stuff. Nope, we
were always in our own little world and for some reason we were both ok with that.
When we found out we'd both be going to the same high school we knew we'd finally be playing on the same team and we'd be seeing a lot more of
each other. This was the first time in my life I got all tingly about something. Like I was really excited about getting to spend way more time with Justin
then I had ever been with anyone else. I just don't know if he felt the same so I kept it to myself for a bit until we both met again after getting the
Football practice starts earlier then the school year. In fact, coach Lad encourages his teams to workout year round in the school gym and to
participate in drills from spring through summer. Says he likes to keep his players sharp and I can't argue with that.
First practice I was already 16 and had my drivers license so I offered to pick Justin up and head to the field. He didn't live too far from me so I knew
the area. Walking up to his house was like what it must feel like to other straight guys when they go pick up a date for the very first time. I was kind of
nervous but I didn't know why.
Justin wasn't even close to being ready, and what I learned to find out later in life, was his M.O.: chronic lateness. He answered the door in his boxers
and made apologies for running behind. He introduced me to his parents and his younger brother, a very handsome family, and I knew that Justin came from
That first summer practicing together was like our very first time to really get to know each other and become close. Even though the offense usually
sticks together anyway, especially the passer and his receivers, but Justin and I started to hang out a lot and spend tons of time just being together even
outside of football. Sometimes we'd just drive out as far as we could go until it was time to drive back, we loved road trips, we'd talk about a million
different things and nothing at all. It was awesome.
Our freshman year we went undefeated in our league and made it to the playoffs. Our coaches were impressed and with a lot of seniors graduating, it
was an easy fit for us to get on the varsity team as sophomores. Luckily we both grew the past year so we were both average sized for the varsity team but
it didn't really matter 'cause coach says it's all about skill and execution not size. We believed him and kept it as our mantra.
During one of our varsity games the following year, we played a really tough team from one of the not so nice parts of the area. Coach reiterated that it
wasn't about intimidation and more about who we see ourselves as that will win games. He was always more about building our character then focusing
primarily on the game skills. He said those would come naturally if we believed in ourselves and he was right.
As we were introduced to the other players the coach and the entire team overheard some derogatory comments made by the other team as well as
their coach. Trash talking is part of all sports especially high school but our coach didn't allow it. There was no grandstanding on our part, no jerseys worn
outside of game day, no pep rally's and no banners on school grounds displaying our win record or who we'd be playing in our next game. We were a really
civilized team, especially for high school football. Again, the focus was on building character.
When we spanked the other team in a convincing win, we all were on the team bus and coach talked about the game plays and gave credit to each and
every single player and their contribution. I kid you not, he could call up a play for every player and his contribution to that play. Then coach got real silent,
and he asked everyone to really think about all the trash talking the other team called out to us. He asked us to reflect on the pain it must feel like to be on
that side of the insults. He asked us to look deep into our own souls and ask ourselves if that was the type of person we wanted to be, if we felt that
bringing down another human being by attacking them with verbal abuse made them feel like a bigger person. We all nodded in agreement that no, that
wasn't how we viewed ourselves. That we won games because we were better prepared and focused on the game not the win.
It was on that road game that the coach announced that he knew some of us on the team might be different then the others and asked us all if that
would make a difference, and if it did, to stand up and let him and the entire team know why. He challenged us, he challenged us to face our fears and
ignorance and to voice it publicly to the team instead of small talk in the
locker room or in class. A defensive lineman got up, said he wondered about the
friendship between me and Justin, said he never say us dating any girls and wondered if it was ok that we were all in the same
locker room together
Coach thanked him for having the courage to stand up and voice his concerns. Then he went into a conversation that was unlike any other. He told us
about how in our minds if we're not supportive of each other then we won't be a team, that we won't win on the field, that we won't win our division. Then
he came back at us with facts about how being gay was biological, that a gay person doesn't have a choice, just like the straight person doesn't have a
choice that he gets all gaa-gaa for a girl. Then he explained about the locker
room. That it shouldn't be all that uncomfortable considering it's just body
parts and that he doubted any one there would have the gumption to put the moves on a defensive lineman anyway. The busload of guys laughed. Coach
got through to them, nerves were put on ease. Then coach went on to add that maybe straight guys should look at gay guys that might be attracted to
them as compliment. I mean if a gay guy thinks you're hot you must be doing something right! This got the entire bus going crazy. Now all of a sudden guys
were thinking which gay guys on campus they were going to try and get attention from just to compete with all the other straight guys. See what coached
did was take out the sexuality and place common attraction into the gay-straight equation. When he did that he got through to the players and the team
loved him even more.
When the bus finally quieted down a bit the coach asked everyone for their attention once more. He looked at us all seriously and asked if any of the
teammates felt they wanted to come forward and admit their difference so that we could get that all out of the way and not have to deal with any
suspicions. Johnny, the right corner, got up and admitted he was a closeted
Nintendo nerd, he got a laugh. Then Justin got up. He got in front of the bus
next to coach and started tearing up. The bus fell silent. When he could finally speak, Justin said he was gay and that he hoped that announcing this
wouldn't make anyone treat him any differently. He told about his struggles with his family and being Catholic. And he just left it at that. As he stood there
in his courage, one person got up, the defensive lineman that had earlier voiced his concern about being in the
locker room with gay guys. When he spoke
there was a crack in his voice but no one kidded him, he was 6'5 and 325 lbs, he looked straight at Justin and asked "Justin, will you be my first gay friend?"
and then proceeded to come up and hug Justin. I looked around the bus, I don't remember seeing a dry eye on there. It was a pivotal moment. It was the
crowning glory in the coaches career on character development. It was awesome and I was a part of it.
As time went on there were other guys that came out on the team. I never officially announced it but just the fact that Justin and I had become
boyfriends made everyone realize I was gay and they didn't have any problem with it at all. Hmmm, a gay high school quarterback... Who'd a thunk
the NBA - Is Pro Sports Ready for Gay Athletes?
Yes we've been all patting ourselves on the back lately, celebrating good times and
how much progress the NFL has made by sending two african-american coaches
to the 2007 Super Bowl. We're supposed to be totally colorblind that our
general reaction was, "What? Dungy and Lovie are black? I hadn't noticed." Or
was it the fact that neither team has a huge fan base across the nation?
There's actually nothing wrong with all of us taking pride in how far
we've come in terms of race in sports. But before we start feeling all warm and
fuzzy inside, we should remember that we still have miles far to go before
we can claim that we treat issues of homosexuality with the maturity
we've started to develop toward race. And for that to happen we're going
to need some star football athletes to come out while playing the sport
and having full support from their entire team and coaches, just like blacks
now dominate the sport of pro football.
That point has been made clear in recent days, with three stories that
involve being gay. First one is the tale of a Snickers
commercial played during the Super Bowl. In the commercial,
two men eat a Snickers bar from opposite ends, working their way toward
each other until their lips meet. Shocked at their accidental kiss,
they each rip out a chunk of chest hair to prove to themselves that
they're still men, the implication being that men who kiss other men are
Gay rights groups across the country objected to the commercial, and
rightly so, causing Snickers to dump it. It's no surprise that gays
would be offended by the commercial, but there was another message implicit in
the ad as well -- that straight guys are like the two morons
in the ad, freaked by homosexuality, so uncomfortable with the
issue that they go all goofy spaz out when confronted with the subject. In a way,
straight guys should be just as offended as gays by the commercial.
The 2 men in the commercial were actors, but ex-NBA
player John Amaechi has real-life stories to tell. Amaechi, the 6'10
center who played 5 seasons in the NBA for Orlando, Cleveland and
Utah retired in 2003, and will announce that he is gay in a
new book about to be released. Rumors are already flying about what Amaechi
has to say about living a closeted life in the NBA, but just knowing he had
to keep his sexuality a secret while he was in the
NBA tells you about the negative attitude he perceived toward
gays in pro sports.
Amaechi assumed that he would be much more of an outcast than
other players in the league who have been accused of sexual assault and
domestic violence, not to mention those who have fathered multiple children
while single. And he's probably right.
Amaechi's went to Penn State, which hasn't exactly been the ideal
example for dealing with gay-related issues in a sensitive
manner, at least not in it's women's basketball program. Coach Rene
Portland has been slapped with repeated accusations that she discriminates
against those she believes to be lesbians. Jennifer Harris, sued Portland and
Penn State in 2005, alleging that Portland cut her from the team because Rene
thought Harris was a lesbian. Portland denies that she treated
Harris or any other player differently, but in 2006, the school's
Affirmative Action Office found that she was in
violation of Penn State's anti-discrimination policy on the basis of
sexual orientation, and she was fined $10,000 and ordered to undergo
sensitivity training. $10,000? That's pretty much an insult. Way
to go Penn State.
And so the sports world goes on stumbling, not quite sure what to do
or how to act when it comes to gays in sports. In its attitude toward gays,
the sports world is years behind its attitude towards race.
Those two guys in the Snickers commercial
certainly looked foolish in the way they dealt with the idea of them possibly being gay,
but they are not alone.
Recently I was approached by a group of professional and amateur
gay surfers who were greatly confused and saddened by their behavior while
participating in various acts of violence. Being the compassionate and extremely empathetic
gay boy that I am, I gave them each a free psychological
consultation. Actually, you might feel more comfortable referring to me as Dr. Jackson for the remainder of this article. Sit down on my leather sectional.
Kick off your shoes and be prepared to watch their unconscious minds scrambled, diced and reassembled.
Me and a few
gay guys were in Huntington Beach to do a demo. There was this big superstar party afterwards with a bunch of surf stars and their
whore groupies. I came outside to find my friend Jamie getting shit talked to him about being a
gay surfer by some jock. He mumbles some shit as he walks
off. Jamie takes his shoe off and throws it at the dude, hitting him in the back of the head. Dude rolls up to Jamie with a clenched fist like he's gonna punch
him. I'm all, 'What are you doing? You're gonna sucker punch a gay guy.' He's like, 'I'll f cking punch that bitch.' 'What, you want to take him f ckin' apart?'
I'm like if you want to fight me, let's do this.'
Dumb jock keeps backing up. And I'm stupid enough to follow this 200-pound jock. I didn't realize that the corner he was leading me to had nine of his
friends waiting for me. I'm like 'f ck this!'. So I grab him by the shirt and I deck him in the nose. Now all ten of these bitches are beating the f ck out of me.
One of the dudes has the audacity to f ckin' grab me by the ball sack and he's pulling down hard, trying to get me to stop swinging back. Some kid other
gay guy I don't know goes into the bar and tells my friends Matt. So Matt grabs our team manager, Andy and he's wasted. They come out and Andy is so
wasted that he ran up, tripped over his leg, and ate shit right next to me. That took about three of four of them off me because they started beating on
him. So Matt gets me and pulls me up. This pro 'ho type chick we were with was freaking out saying, 'Stop beating up my friends!' This tiny little girl steps
in between us with a can of mace. She's like, 'I said stop!' and sprays the biggest dude. Suddenly his anger turns into a f cking whimpering cry for Mommy.
His face turns flush red, like he's devastated. The the girlie proceeds to mace all of this dude's friends at the same time.
Dr. Jackson: As a young child, DJ ate glass, thinking it was rock candy. According to DJ, he not only felt zero pain, his bowl movement looked like a
chocolate rave, littered with fantastical, sparkly glitter. The 'Pro Ho' represents DJ's mother, whom comes to his aide. It's interesting that in DJ's story a gay
guy starts the violence and a girlie ends it. Clearly DJ has an unresolved Oedipal conflict with his mother. NEXT!
I had gone out surfing with Don, Joe, Jon and a few other
gay guys. We were paddling in and coming back on shore when this bum comes over and starts invading everyone's space on the beach. He wanted us to give him 20 bucks for doing cartwheels or something dumb like that. Someone agreed. He didn't even cartwheel, he just rolled over forward a couple of times and then started really getting angry about his money. I was eating some candy and waiting for him to leave so I could just chill on the beach. I asked the guy to chill the f ck out and he told me he would beat me up. I just turned to walk away. He comes over to me and starts yelling at me waving his fists. He ran at me while I was taking a drink of monster and then I ended up stepping back and kicking him to the side and he fell back a few paces. He put his fists up, runs at me an tells me, 'that's it.' I actually to really bummed because I had both my hands full and wanted to go back in and surf. I was just going to try and move around a bit until he got tired. He charged me and I dropped my drink, I looked up and he was right there in my face so I stepped back and threw a punch at his shoulder. He fell on the sand and rolled around a bit and then jumped up to tell me he deserved it and didn't I think I could actually hit him and that he had never been hit like that. I felt really bad, but it was self-defense.
Dr. Dr. Jackson: Here Brian experiences a deep sense of shame and guilt. Guilt is Brian's
unconscious need for punishment. According to Freud, "men are not gentle creatures who want to be loved, and who at most can defend themselves if they are attacked," but are, on the contrary, "creatures among whose instinctual endowments is to be reckoned a powerful share of
aggressiveness." Understand and embrace your guilt Brian.
My grandfather is a boxing trainer. He's been doing it for years and years.
He trained Evander Holyfield and Sugar Shane Mosley. He's trained a lot of top
fighters. He got me into boxing when I was a kid. He got me into it for
discipline. I pretty much steer clear of street fights. About a year and a half
ago I got into a fight. This gay guy was talking crap at a party and I let him
have it. It was a little scuffle but I came out on top. Once again I am not a
Dr. Jackson: Darrel makes a conscious effort to let us know he is not a fighter. Though he did fight an individual for 'talking crap'. This could be a trait of a passive aggressive. This passive aggression could be a result of the grandfather's focus on discipline. If left unresolved these issue could prevent him from loving.
[return to Gay Surf Report]